Moments form a book never Published part 2

I am lost in space...
Ok maybe I am not.
I am in fact exactly where I need to be drifting in space a soon to be extinguish star. When I was a human I never thought that even a star would have consciousness, then again as a human I thought animals and plants where inferior to me.
My shine is slowly fading, particles that once made up me are now drifting into space.
Pieces of me fall into other stars, suns, planets..galaxies .................cosmos.
Well I forget again? Well again at the last moment of physical life will everything comeback to me? Living it seems in any form becomes so important to any being.
I am a falling God. A blue being. In some solar systems I am worshipped as a God, in others I am nothing, but my energy belongs to every form, particles or molecule that I have come into contact with. For in these last moments I understand that I am the all.
Soon I will slip into the next unknown more enlightened that I was before.
A man is standing in a ocean, the sun shining brightly down upon him and angel comes running splashing next to him...it seems like eons ago.
I have burned so bright for millions of years, but time is no longer linear.
I live in die and the same time. Letting go and living in the moment that is what becomes of us all. I can feel the shift my existence here slowly ends on to new beginnings

" Daddy I want know about that star?"
" My lovely we will learn as many as we can, in fact we will start with the most important one. You."
"Hehe, you're silly Daddy."

I Dance so hard that...

Sometimes I Dance so hard I give myslef and orgasm. That Climax and Pure Bliss you feel happening while your fulling being your Cosmic Self. GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
I love to Dance. Fuck it, I wish at times My wife would be a dance floor I loving dancing so much. I feel so much like a Man. Doing this Ethereal Mating Dance.
Each part of my body contracts and reacts and sends this Pharmonal Energy attracting Goddesses to take part in my Physical Symphony. If not for a lifetime, for one dance. To pull her close, to have her Shakti surround you and complete you.
To smell, to Touch, to TASTE!
No words.
Let my eyes, hands and hips do all the dictation.
When she is not near I Dance for her anywhere. In rooms, on the bustop, walking down the street with my hip Hop. In dance there is all, our bodies decribe it all.
Love. Dance. Made for Romance.
We allow our bodies to come play, there is a reason we have the phrase " We Danced the Night away."

Soooooo I have been writing since the age of 15. Of course many, MANY, poems, Rants, monolouges etc have been completely for me. However today while rummaging through my books to look for an address. I came across something I wrote about 4 years ago and it was on the last page of the book.
It goes a like this...


If you are reading this please remember you can do two things.
You can turn back or you can start a new. You always have options.
However, learn to honor your choices. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is "easy" in life, but that does not mean you should make them harder. Let go of thought, listen to your heart and use the power of your soul. Harness these abilities and you will have everything you need in life. So if you turn back remember that these are the pages of your life, they will help you go on. If you start a new book fill every page like a holy scripture written by a devout sage. Whatever you choose don't forget that this is your life to live. Not for a second, not for a moment , but for a lifetime, and I promise it will make one inspiring story.

Sometimes only You can Motivate You.
Learn. Live.Love

Ocean

My Love she is an Ocean.
I swim in her engulfed by her love.
Her beauty is vast, far reaching, and blissful.
She purifies me, cleans me of my doubts and fears.
She is a ravenous lover always welcoming me to enter her waters.
But my Love is not souly for me for she has many lovers.
As a young man I would grow intolerant of this, sperning her, calling her names, punishing her, but denying my thirst.
Now I understand.
You do don't belong to me my love, but it does not mean you do not love me.
True you will have many other lovers who swim in your waters but even they will never Rule you. To love you is all they or I could can ever do.
I do not wish to drown in your love. Let me swim in it. I am your fish.
Let me play in your shallows and understand your depths.

Moments from a Books never Published

I hadn't seen her for years.
She was still....a Goddess.

When you are first trying to get over someone. You hope that the next time you seen them they will look horrible or be unhappy. It Selfish I know, even sad, but you let those thoughts manifest in your head. Still, there she was across from me, glowing as if a spotlight followed her around. In a few moments she would see me, in a few moment I would know if she still.. Nevermind.

"The Eye is the gateway to our soul." That is what crossed my mind and also is it eye? or Eyes? I don't know. All I knew was that the moment our eyes meet I'll know.
I thought about pretending not to see her, but I love her. I told her years ago that my eyes are always searching for her.
How the hell could I look away now?
It doesn't matter, there is no way she could be single. I bet the man beside her is her husband or Companion. They look great together, I bet they have beautiful babies.
Does she have kids?
When we were together, I use to dream about a cute little chubby boy with jet black hair, and her eyes.
Shut up and get this over with.

Everything gets brighter. I am living IN time.
Either this is a magic moment, or am going to faint. She notices me. All of a sudden it's half a decade ago, and I am opening up a door about to meet a girl coming from Yoga class. She's here to pick up a book from my New Age roomie about becoming a Vegan.
I feel like I am staring.
Cause I am
But so is she.
Before anyone says a word we are in love again.
Did we even stop?
If I where to say this to her she would call it corny, but it's what she loves about me.
I am trying to Vocalize a word that sounds like a greeting, but before I get a chance to put my foot in my mouth she says, "Hi."
This time I hope there wont be a Goodbye.

What if I changed for you?

You.
Are going to Change.
Thank you for Reading. :)


At 25 I had a full head of thick black hair. At 26 I was Balding. I changed.
Of course at the time I cursed the heavens and said, " Why me God?!"
You see I love my hair, as all balding men would say, but I REALLY loved my head full of hair. I would sit at home and stroke my fingers through it for hours, in fact it was one of my favorite pass times. I cut it in every way possible, I had a mullet, I put streaks in it, I even tried to grow it out several times. Of course I'm not writing about me losing my hair. I m talking about change.
I have questions this time, to ponder.

Why are we afraid to change? Why would you ever want things to stay the same?
Sure I get it, there are these fantastic moments in our lives where we are the embodiment of happiness and bliss, but what makes us think it won't happen again?

Why does getting old mean you can't change?
Have you heard this one? "I'm to old for that." What are you to old for? Living?
Or if I was younger, or not married or single or insert any excuse you can think of.
Stop limiting yourself.

Why can't someone we love change? The moment we attach expectations on anyone we love, we are asking them to fail. Also do you actually fail at love if a realtionship fails?
I mean after trying and trying isn't it better to say I love you, may you continue to grow,then saying I gave you 20 plus years of my life and what do I have to show for it? Or any other hurtful words we can think of because we didn't want to change ourseleves or let anyone change around us.

Also Change for you. If one day you liked Hip Hop music and 5 years later it's Bach or Bust and someone goes, "What happend to you?" Just say you got better. Because you can!!
Caterpillar are Awesome cute creatures but guess what happens to a Caterpillar?

Ask yourself
Do you wish to be right or happy in life?
If you are questioning what I mean about "Right" then you will most likely question what it is to be happy. Believe me you can be 'right" in life but still end up unhappy and unfullied but at least you will be right.
If you live a happy life you are not pursuing happniess you are experiencing life.
Huge difference. You are not looking to the next thing to make you happy. You simply are happy.

Of course questions like these are always fun to talk about. So when next we meet lets chat.
Still, You and everything around you will change.
Thank you for Reading.
Learn. Live. Love.

I Can't Believe I EVER dated you.

"I Can't believe I ever dated him."

This, is what I over heard on the Skytrain the other day on my way to work. Immersed in The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, this one little sentence manage to pull me out of some great fiction. I continued to listen as the Woman went on to list all the things this man "she was to good for" lacked.
This list was very extensive.
Still it got me thinking and I came to the realization that I have had many people in my life, including myself, use this line or some variation of it.
"I can't believe I dated her/where friends/where together?" You can add the ever popular "what was I thinking?" to the mix.
I had to understand why I would ever open my mouth and say any of these silly lines. It was time for me to take responsibility. I have said to many of my friends, and mentioned it a few times in my Blog that the world is a reflection of you. You are at the very lest a Co-create on this wonderful journey you have chosen, so you must honor your choices. Take a moment and think about all of your relationships regardless of whatever state they are in. Now accept to yourself that you have made these choices, all of them, and BELIEVE in them. Now some people may say, wait I didn't choice to be given up on, or used, or cheated on, or any other negative situation or circumstance you can think of. However in some weird way you did. You needed to learn. You had to grow. These people that we end up becoming "to good for" in essence are very much us. IF you sit and think about you and who you were 5 or 10 years ago you will clearly be different and if you go " I can't believe.. blah blah blah" Shut your mouth and respect yourself. Believe you have grown and Believe where that growth came from. These lovely people that you became "to good for" did nothing that you can not over come. Don't let fear and hate stop you. When you list there short comings remember that some of the qualities exist in you or did at one point in time.
And if by chance you are the one who let someone down, broke a heart, took someone for granted. Accept your choices and thank you for hurting someone, thank you for hurting yourself. Those people were and are the great aspects of you, that you were not ready for. So you hurt yourself by hurting them. I personally forgive anyone who has done this to me and ask for forgiveness if I have done any harm to anyone.
We all are good enough and can all become better. And for those still looking for there great soul mate or love to complete them (which is entirely different blog) I say, The best relationships you can have is with yourself first and when you love you. The world will say to you in many voices or in one. I love you too. Now that is something you should Believe.