Ravaged

Ravaged
By Munish Sharma
Edited by Liam Ford


Some love cannot pass the test of fate
It is too fragile, it cannot bear the weight.
Yet love is given birth by hope
And like a mother to a child it nourishes its growth.
So we begin to dream and in those dreams
We see things that might come to be;
Moments under the moonlight, kisses in the rain,
Or when they say, “I have never felt this way…”
However to find true love,
One must be willing to fall.
Reality, the unflinching father,
Tests us to see what our love can battle.
And if by chance you fall,
You start to question what it means to you at all.
So we emote feelings once love is lost,
To learn what we can from the pain.
I too loved someone.
I loved them more
Than I could ever admit.
A love so strong
That it made me sick.
I loved someone.
But this is not that story,
But of how that lost love transformed me.
Wake… wake… Hear the river flow.
Wake… wake… Feel the breeze blow.
Wake… wake… Hear the birds sing.
Wake… wake… It is time to begin.
I have run all the way back to the start,
To the place where you first touched my heart.
The beauty of the place remains the same,
But the aura has changed.
It is no longer ours…
Maybe it never was?
The pillar-like trees,
That seem to hold up the sky,
The crystal clear stream
That showed our dreams,
The calm breeze
That brought my heart ease,
And all the priceless poetry
That made my heart dance for thee…
That life has spent its last breath,
And now there is nothing left.
So here I lie, wishing for life to drift away,
Deep into the stream that once held our dreams.
Oh, how I wish I were blind, for I cannot
Remove you from my sight.
Your parting has ravaged the endless sky,
Plundered the fertile earth, sucked the river dry...
And all you did is say goodbye.
You have left me like this.
The same energy you used to whisk me away
Has now made me want to throw my life away.
I do not want to bear this separation;
I wish I did not care for this situation.
This heavy heart of mine attracts gravity in another way.
It is no longer open to the sky,
The tears in my eyes stop me
From holding my head up high.
This heavenly place is where our love should have grown,
But now it will forever remind me that you are not my own.
The birds’ songs have begun to sound like hideous cackles,
The odour of the earth has become decrepit and foul,
And from a distance evil begins to howl.
The darkness creeps
And soon it will consume me,
It will slither in to my soul
And devour my heart whole.
My body is seething
Like a demonic being.
I have been poisoned by your love,
And although I have stopped it
From entering my veins,
Much of it still remains.
I beg for the end,
For I feel the darkness coming in.
Shhh...
The enemy speaks,
The enemy deep
Inside of me.
My dear girl
Give me your will
Let me taste
The nectar of your ill.
It is your own fault
You feel this way.
Who told you
Love is great?
Let me show you
What really matters
Let your body succumb
To lustful desires.
Drink the juice of lust,
What good is in living
So virtuous?
Let me tell you
The one thing
That is true:
No one will
Ever love you.
Let these words
Creep into your soul
And there create
A gaping hole.
It must be me… It’s not true
There is something wrong with me… It's not true
It is true.
No one will ever
Love me.
No one
Will ever
Love
Me.
From a distance
There is a glimmer,
So faint at first,
That believing in it
Makes me feel worse.
Maybe there is more to me than you,
But the glimmer grows stronger
And starts to stay longer;
I will be stronger.
It slides its way through the dark.
Could it be here to mend my heart?
In love there are goodbyes.
Fragile things should never be cherished,
For one day they too will perish.
One crushing defeat after another,
Oh, the things we will do for a lover.
We will change our whole scope on life
To make things right. We will forget
What we refuse to give up,
For a warm and soothing touch.
And in the end we may part;
Do I choose to stay in the dark?
Look at me in my melancholy sadness;
I finally understand what my internal wrath is.
The darkness in my heart
Tries to rip me limb from limb.
This is the prison heartbreak condemns me in.
The evil in my mind tries to torture me at times,
But something has begun to change.
Maybe things are better this way?
Love is like an infant child.
There is so much work to be done,
So much time needed to grow.
Love needs to crawl before it can walk.
Love is four letters, it takes four strokes to pen,
But it may take four lifetimes to comprehend.
Our love may have past,
But that does not mean
Love does not last.
I can blame the world
For my misfortune
Or I can love again.
I can believe that no one will love me
Or I can believe it all starts with loving me.
I can spend my life waiting for an unspoken moment
Or I could let the moment speak.
To the untrained eye, I am still the same,
But who can rejoice in pleasure without pain?
Look a little deeper, past the flesh,
Realize that it does not do me justice.
Love is something
We mortals should not resist.
Yet there is much more to love
Than romantic consequence.

One Poem of India

Strait out of India with a soul on fire.
prosperity blooming like a lotus flower.
From meditation to yoga with a new definitions of God.
Found heaven in my skin no more feeling odd.
A new Deva emerges, does that sound blasphemous?
Believing in ones self should not come with a ceiling built over it
If me gives birth to we, and we teaches me.
Then like a eternal circle at all ages we are pupils.
No longer will I live in one way of intellgience.
The Galaxy inside me has had it's own big bang.
No Theory is needed I understand theI am.

The Jeans and T-Shirts Sage

The Jeans and T-shirt sage sits in front of me.
Drinking his Desi Whiskey, while the smoke of his cigarette dances around his face.

"I have been waiting for you for a year."
Somewhere in the hill/mountain region of Northern India, a man I have never met before not only knows me, but has been waiting to see me. I want to be skeptical.

"Yeah right buddy."
" No you haven't you lair. Stop lying!"
" Shut your mouth."
I want to be Skeptical, I didn't want to believe him....but I now it's true.
For the rest of the day this normal everyday looking man is telling me about my life.
Not a vague horoscope description or half ass Psychic interpretation but actual events.
There is Magic in India. There is Magic in the World.
This isn't a life changing experience, this is a life realization experience.
I didn't need to get high on any drug or drink to feel some kind of connection. I am not telling you about some kind of drug trip where my eyes have been opened.
I will say that to all of you who believe there is something more to life, wished there was magic in the world,or thought that there is more to life then how much you weigh or what you look like.
I am telling you there is...... and I have seen it with my human eyes.
These same eyes that watch movies and look to see how fake the CGI is. The same eyes that have stupidly judged beauty based on what is shown to me on TV. These human eyes finally saw something Divine. My Soul has always told me that yes, there is so much more then who wins the Super Bowl (Don't get me wrong it's still important) or how much money you make ( Still very very important) but this brother whom up until 4 days ago did not exist to me talked about my past and told me of my future.

Aight I know some of you are all like "What did he say Munish? I wanna know? Give me Facts!"
and there is at least 10 of you who don't want to believe this. Well to the people who don't want to believe me, it's all good.
To the people who want to know facts, maybe I will tell you a more in depth story in the future, but for all of you who Love me and know what kind of human being I am. Thanks. I know somewhere in your hearts you know that Munish is telling the truth.

Trust me I want to tell you more in depth tales about the Lotus Temple and the Golden temple. Swimming in the Ganges in the early morning in the mist, near the mountains with beautiful cranes. Glorious Elephants, meeting my Guru, but this seems more important.

I will say that aside from this greatness, I have absolutely loved spending time with my family, especially my Mom and Sister.
I love those Women so much. It's been over 6 years since I have spent this much time with my Mother and 8 years with my sister.
I don't want to sound like a broken record, no, wait, I do.
Love the Women in your life. I don't care if you think they are crazy or boring or whatever eventual lame excuse you come up with.
Love the Women in your Life. I have a Great Dad, a fantastic brother, but truly the two souls who play the part of my Mother and Sister are my core reason for who I am. These two Goddess make my life beautiful and someday there will be three.


The Jeans and T-Shirt Sage asks me who I think I am?
I sit trying to answer as if I may give him a wrong answer.
He smiles.
" I do not see you as you are." He says.
" I see you in your white robes, with your white beard, the way you will be."
I have seen this image my entire life, and it pops up clearly as he describes that image of me 30+ years from now. :)
"But first in.......( Sorry folks It would be great to tell all of you what he told be, but the point is to see it happen)

There is much more of my trip left heading to Chennai Mar 21. I have places to see, people to meet and creativity to harness.
Trust me I am exactly where I need to be right know. Away.
My Soul knows this.................but
Ahem, don't get shit twisted. I ll be back on that dance floor causin a stir, bumpin and grindin with some sexy girl.
Learn. Live. LOVE.

ps My bad for the spelling and grammar. I have been mostly speaking Hindi or Punjab for 6 weeks. Me English bad.

I gotta Quote for yeah!

When you put up a Quote do you actually read it?
Do you let the words resonate in your heart?
Or do you read it because it sounds good?
Does anyone every notice that quotes contradict each other?
You will read ones about Unconditional Love and the next day you will read one about how if someone doesn't treat you right then they don't deserve you.
It makes sense to me. Words that speak to you are words to live by.
But are you living by them?
Did you wake up today and love unconditional?
Did you look in the mirror and tell yourself I am someone important?
Did you finally and I mean FINALLY tell someone what you always wanted to say, because if you never saw them again at least they would know how you feel about them.
After all
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough (May West)
I don't dislike Quotes, I love words, but only if I really need to say them, use them.
Words like actions need a reason.
So when you put up your next Facebook/Twitter quote or write it down on your vision board/Journal/wall etc. ( I do all of this)
Maybe ask yourself
When I am in bliss will these words come to mind?
IF I drink from sorrow will these lines be the food to my soul?
When I look upon a loved one does "IT" click?
I could end with a Quote but I would be happier if you read what I wrote
And you can Quote me on that. :)

Words have Power.

Everything all at once.
I am already dead and dancing as a three year old.
I still sing in my room in the basement and live on a sun soaked beach in solitude.
She is telling me it won't work.
"Munish we will end up together."
My one true love married another. My parents keep me safe from harm, now they tell me there is something wrong in my head.
My brother won't talk to me. My infant sister grasps my finger for the first time.
Alone at a bus stop.
Surrounded by Friends. Kids laughing with me.
Friends shedding tears. Living in Routine.
I 'm 60 roaming Eastern streets. I m Thirty and with my Lover
"Daddy I wanna come with you."
She ran away from me again.
All I know is that there is no End.
Speeches on the street, on a Podium, live on T.V.
Alone asking why you didn't believe in me.
When I am gone you will cry for me
Five years old and I want my mommy.
I fought my Dad
My friends Don't understand.
She walks next to me Lovingly holding my hand.
Waking in the middle of the night kissing her forehead
My brother does not love me he wishes me dead.
They yell at me that I was never there.
My brother looking me in the eye telling me I make the world care.
Past. Present. Futures.
Love.

I Dance so hard that...

Sometimes I Dance so hard I give myslef and orgasm. That Climax and Pure Bliss you feel happening while your fulling being your Cosmic Self. GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
I love to Dance. Fuck it, I wish at times My wife would be a dance floor I loving dancing so much. I feel so much like a Man. Doing this Ethereal Mating Dance.
Each part of my body contracts and reacts and sends this Pharmonal Energy attracting Goddesses to take part in my Physical Symphony. If not for a lifetime, for one dance. To pull her close, to have her Shakti surround you and complete you.
To smell, to Touch, to TASTE!
No words.
Let my eyes, hands and hips do all the dictation.
When she is not near I Dance for her anywhere. In rooms, on the bustop, walking down the street with my hip Hop. In dance there is all, our bodies decribe it all.
Love. Dance. Made for Romance.
We allow our bodies to come play, there is a reason we have the phrase " We Danced the Night away."

I Can't Believe I EVER dated you.

"I Can't believe I ever dated him."

This, is what I over heard on the Skytrain the other day on my way to work. Immersed in The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, this one little sentence manage to pull me out of some great fiction. I continued to listen as the Woman went on to list all the things this man "she was to good for" lacked.
This list was very extensive.
Still it got me thinking and I came to the realization that I have had many people in my life, including myself, use this line or some variation of it.
"I can't believe I dated her/where friends/where together?" You can add the ever popular "what was I thinking?" to the mix.
I had to understand why I would ever open my mouth and say any of these silly lines. It was time for me to take responsibility. I have said to many of my friends, and mentioned it a few times in my Blog that the world is a reflection of you. You are at the very lest a Co-create on this wonderful journey you have chosen, so you must honor your choices. Take a moment and think about all of your relationships regardless of whatever state they are in. Now accept to yourself that you have made these choices, all of them, and BELIEVE in them. Now some people may say, wait I didn't choice to be given up on, or used, or cheated on, or any other negative situation or circumstance you can think of. However in some weird way you did. You needed to learn. You had to grow. These people that we end up becoming "to good for" in essence are very much us. IF you sit and think about you and who you were 5 or 10 years ago you will clearly be different and if you go " I can't believe.. blah blah blah" Shut your mouth and respect yourself. Believe you have grown and Believe where that growth came from. These lovely people that you became "to good for" did nothing that you can not over come. Don't let fear and hate stop you. When you list there short comings remember that some of the qualities exist in you or did at one point in time.
And if by chance you are the one who let someone down, broke a heart, took someone for granted. Accept your choices and thank you for hurting someone, thank you for hurting yourself. Those people were and are the great aspects of you, that you were not ready for. So you hurt yourself by hurting them. I personally forgive anyone who has done this to me and ask for forgiveness if I have done any harm to anyone.
We all are good enough and can all become better. And for those still looking for there great soul mate or love to complete them (which is entirely different blog) I say, The best relationships you can have is with yourself first and when you love you. The world will say to you in many voices or in one. I love you too. Now that is something you should Believe.

All I do is Party?

As I walked down Granville Street last night completely sober and foolishly acting all high and mighty.
I started to think about Drugs. I looked around at the Men and Women or Boys and Girls. I mean Reaaally looked at them. Some of them where clearly smashed out of there minds. I saw a very many girls either sitting on a bench or leaning on a lamp post drinking water trying to keep there shit together(so many dresses ruined). Men or Boys with that dear in head lights look, and lets not forget the Men who become the incredible Hulk when they drink. Then there are all the lovers new and old holding on to each other. The Boys with that look of, "I'm so going to get laid tonight" The Girls thinkin," I hope he likes me, or I really just wanna eat my pizza and go to bed"

As I walk to the Roxy (your read correctly) looking around I almost made the mistake of thinking I was better then everyone. Then I told my Ego to Shut the hell up.
Again I started to think about Drugs, Alcohol being the main one, and I realized that everyone around me is being exactly who they really are... in a way.

When I first started drinking I was told you drink to loosen up, to grow some balls to hit on that women that your Ego says is out of your league. To have Fun!!
However, it has become more apparent to me that we take Drugs such as Alcohol, Cannabis, Mushrooms, MDMA, DMT not to have fun but to shut down our Ego.
That voice that says you can't do that, or She/He is to good for you, that's not you, and basically anything else you say to yourself to hold yourself back.
Of course because we live in an Age of Abundance. Everything is Accessible and we over do it. We depend on these gifts from the earth and begin to hinder our own gifts within us. Yup, came to the realization on Granville St.
I'm not going to be silly and say don't do Drugs etc, but I will say you must learn to honor yourself. Yes maybe you need to over do it to learn, but respect yourself and learn. If you do drink or take drugs understand it only enhances what you already have. It's not the 12 shots or pills or joint or anything that made you have fun last night. It was you. You pushed through your Ego and found your true essence, but that awesome You already lives inside you. You don't need to be drugged up all the time to find yourself or take copious amounts of anything to be you. IF you think everyone does it and you should to. Well, everyone does it because you do. (think about it)
Also any Drug (Medicine) that comes from the Earth has far more power then we allow ourselves to believe. They are not simply for Fun. You should learn to honor them because they can teach you how to be Awesome all the time. Without reaching for that extra drink. So the next time you are out and you feel really good let yourself be in that moment don't push it. Ask yourself is this Me? Believe me I have partied, in many cases in life I am the Party, but the greatest nights of my life I remember.
Learn. Live. Love.