The Lady in the dark is the ruler of my heart.
Her Divine shape makes my heart race.
Fingers trace the contours of her face culminating into a fiery embrace.
She knows not what she does to me
Sheer physical pleasure no longer sustains me.
As the Sun begins to battle with the Moon, my very being begins to swoon.
Stay I whisper in her ear.
Sorry but I must go my dear.
The Sun has started to win the fight, for now I see the army of the faint blue light.
Although the darkness begins to lose, her beauty grows stronger as the Sun begins its rule.
Go to sleep babe, let me go. This request only makes me love her more.
And like the epic lovers of old, not once does she try to escape my hold.
The Sun God has finally taken down the mysterious Moon.
We have fallen asleep making the shapes of mates, arms holding each other, heads resting against one another.
When the Sun shines mighty to celebrate its victory, I awake to realize that he has left a gift for me.
Love.
M Sharma
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Healing?/Journey/Green Cabinet
Healing?
In time, the allure will fade.
Then we will glamorize the past.
Tell ourselves how it wasn't meant to last.
Explain to others the folly of our connection,
Hoping for a sympathetic expression.
Yet
Deep in our core we will always know,
That their could have been something much more.
**********
Journey
Confusion is my disease and the sickness always brings me to my knees.
I always profess I have nothing left, yet I continue to create ways to take on a new day.
Sometimes I fear my life is not linear.
That I cognitively jump from place to place, already knowing what the world has served my plate.
Living in the past already knowing my future.
It feels as though I see so much that I am blind, that a collate of images live in my mind.
So everyday
Like an Artist
I Paint
In Pursuit of creating a masterpiece called
My Fate.
***********
This last one is dear to me, because I wrote it in the first few weeks that I had moved to Vancouver.
Green Cabinet
There is this cabinet in my room, it is emerald green with three sunflowers on it. The Cabinet has three drawers, one large one right in the centre, and two small drawers below it that are side by side. They also have sunflowers right in the centre of each drawer. This cabinet doesn't fit. It doesn't fit the style of room I am in at all. It looks like something an adolescent girl should have, still there is something about it.
I don't know why, but it seems magical to me, like the door in the centre will open up and lead me to a different world. There is something special about it, something different.
I think this small emerald green cabinet with three sunflowers on it reminds me that, even though some things don't fit, it doesn't mean they don't belong.
M Sharma
In time, the allure will fade.
Then we will glamorize the past.
Tell ourselves how it wasn't meant to last.
Explain to others the folly of our connection,
Hoping for a sympathetic expression.
Yet
Deep in our core we will always know,
That their could have been something much more.
**********
Journey
Confusion is my disease and the sickness always brings me to my knees.
I always profess I have nothing left, yet I continue to create ways to take on a new day.
Sometimes I fear my life is not linear.
That I cognitively jump from place to place, already knowing what the world has served my plate.
Living in the past already knowing my future.
It feels as though I see so much that I am blind, that a collate of images live in my mind.
So everyday
Like an Artist
I Paint
In Pursuit of creating a masterpiece called
My Fate.
***********
This last one is dear to me, because I wrote it in the first few weeks that I had moved to Vancouver.
Green Cabinet
There is this cabinet in my room, it is emerald green with three sunflowers on it. The Cabinet has three drawers, one large one right in the centre, and two small drawers below it that are side by side. They also have sunflowers right in the centre of each drawer. This cabinet doesn't fit. It doesn't fit the style of room I am in at all. It looks like something an adolescent girl should have, still there is something about it.
I don't know why, but it seems magical to me, like the door in the centre will open up and lead me to a different world. There is something special about it, something different.
I think this small emerald green cabinet with three sunflowers on it reminds me that, even though some things don't fit, it doesn't mean they don't belong.
M Sharma
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Piece of my Heart/ Soul affliction
Piece of my Heart
This one piece of my heart thinks of a parallel life.
One in which every morning I awake with you as my wife.
This one piece will love you, when you give your heart to another.
This one piece will love you, when you become a mother.
It will always love you.
It is impossible for you to denounce it.
This affection has stitched itself to the core of my soul.
I will not live without it.
I confess it is a selfish love, it does not request your attention.
Sadly, because the one piece of my heart recalls your choice to be absent.
The rest of my heart requires a greater love.
The kind of love that one piece of my heart lives of.
************
Soul affliction
When moving I am in constant thought.
Reminding myself of moments and times forgot.
Living in the past is said to be a curse.
Still I can think of evil that is far worse.
The sunlight today plays with my desires.
The cool seductive breeze plots to weaken my knees.
While my heart... sings a hymn about how life could have been.
Curse? I see no curse.
Had I not loved, I would have disrespected the universe.
Your love is no sickness, my soul is allowed to miss it.
This one piece of my heart thinks of a parallel life.
One in which every morning I awake with you as my wife.
This one piece will love you, when you give your heart to another.
This one piece will love you, when you become a mother.
It will always love you.
It is impossible for you to denounce it.
This affection has stitched itself to the core of my soul.
I will not live without it.
I confess it is a selfish love, it does not request your attention.
Sadly, because the one piece of my heart recalls your choice to be absent.
The rest of my heart requires a greater love.
The kind of love that one piece of my heart lives of.
************
Soul affliction
When moving I am in constant thought.
Reminding myself of moments and times forgot.
Living in the past is said to be a curse.
Still I can think of evil that is far worse.
The sunlight today plays with my desires.
The cool seductive breeze plots to weaken my knees.
While my heart... sings a hymn about how life could have been.
Curse? I see no curse.
Had I not loved, I would have disrespected the universe.
Your love is no sickness, my soul is allowed to miss it.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Best of Show hangover
WHAT A SHOW!
Thank you to everyone who came out and made The Best OF Show such a success.
I must say I was very humbled after this shows run. For the last two weeks I don't' know how many times I have told myself " I'm jut a prairie boy from Saskatchewan and I don't really even know what that means. All I do know is that it makes me so very happy to bring Joy to others.
4 sold out shows and this time we had double the occupancy. Wow, that's all I can say. I even had friends who phoned, email, text ed me apologizing for not being able to make it. One part of me was so happy that i have such wonderful friends and the other side was thinking next time get your tickets faster.
I truly hope that everyone that came out had a fantastic time because we had a great time putting the show on.
Next up with have the Sawan Mela on June 12 and we will be also putting up our first two filmed sketches Bollywood Bella and Bhuppi's Bhangra Dance Group.
As for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Chicken there will be a brand new show coming in the future, and possibly a remount of the best of show,
Thank you to everyone who came out and made The Best OF Show such a success.
I must say I was very humbled after this shows run. For the last two weeks I don't' know how many times I have told myself " I'm jut a prairie boy from Saskatchewan and I don't really even know what that means. All I do know is that it makes me so very happy to bring Joy to others.
4 sold out shows and this time we had double the occupancy. Wow, that's all I can say. I even had friends who phoned, email, text ed me apologizing for not being able to make it. One part of me was so happy that i have such wonderful friends and the other side was thinking next time get your tickets faster.
I truly hope that everyone that came out had a fantastic time because we had a great time putting the show on.
Next up with have the Sawan Mela on June 12 and we will be also putting up our first two filmed sketches Bollywood Bella and Bhuppi's Bhangra Dance Group.
As for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Chicken there will be a brand new show coming in the future, and possibly a remount of the best of show,
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The Parts of Butter Chicken Part 2.
Sooooooooooo, two weeks before The Best Of Show!!!!!
I hope there is a number of people who are getting excited for the show. Rehearsals continue to run smoothly, and anyone who comes to see the show will be thoroughly entertained.
Even though this is a best of show and we are using our best sketches, none of the sketches are the same as there originals. Each sketch has new elements added to it, be it because of Leena and I tweaking a sketch, or because of our wonderful cast.
Which by the way I now call, Butter Chicken Omega(Note: I have never called them, Butter Chicken Omega, but it sounds cool. Don't you think?)
Moving on.
Last week I spoke briefly about the Men of Butter chicken, this week it's the ladies turn.
I will start with the one and only Jessica Garcia (aka The Little General)
Jessica is beautiful. Before I go any further I must make it clear that ALL the women in the show are beautiful, but each of them posses a trait that makes them breathtaking, AND HELLO, THEY ARE SO DAMN FUNNY!!! ( Don't believe me? come watch the show, I dare you.)
Jessica is very talented, and is always eager to be apart of the show no matter what the capacity. Jessica can play a number of different characters from a Latin maid to and Old Indian Mother ( come watch the show)
She is also a born leader, it is something a notice in her more and more with each passing show, hence the name, The Little General. Now if she can only stop talking about that Neyo Dance I did for her. It was one night Jessica, by they way you never called after that. I'm a man Jess not a piece of meat. I have a heart that feels...stuff. :)
Continuing on
We have the lovely Aga postawska
Aga has one of the best dead pan looks I have ever seen, you have got to be some kind of funny to make a person laugh without saying a word. She is also very Dirty, which Leena and I enjoy very much.
Someone else to enjoy is Veenu Sandhu.
Veenu had made every Character she plays her own. Her interpretation of Binder in Binder and Minder is my personal favourite, and she get along with everyone in the cast so well.
Aga and Her have become really good friends. Always so happy to see each other, hugging and touching each other, you know like girls do. Always working with each other outside of rehearsal, heck even in rehearsals they disappear for 20 to 30 min, and work on there scenes together. Let me tell you something they work HARD. They always come back to rehearsal just hot and gleaming with sweat, hair out of place with this wonderful red glow that screams, " Munish we were rehearsing really, really hard!" Then I always jokingly tell them they should go back and work even harder, and they are always so ready to do it?
God Bless them.
Rounding out the cast is Alicia Novak
The moment she auditioned we knew she had to be in the show, and she is french, or from Quebec, or no she is a Francophone. ( Which reminds me, why are all people from Quebec named after Actor James Franco? More importantly after his home telephone? Nobodies called a Sharmaphone, at least not yet.)
Alicia is and Actress who is always working and it is wonderful having her in the cast. However, she does have a seeecret, a secret so disturbing that if I told you, you would be....well I guess you would be disturbed.
If that isn't' enough to get you wanting to come to the show we also have the lovely soul singer Sabrina Saran performing at the show also.
I personally Believe that this woman as the "it" factor. The first time I heard her sing I instantly asked myself, "Self, why isn't the rest of the world listening to her?. I am very blessed to call her friend.
Come check out the show.
Stay tuned.....
********I may have fabricated a few things, but I only fabricated the things that were already fabricated**************
M Sharma
I hope there is a number of people who are getting excited for the show. Rehearsals continue to run smoothly, and anyone who comes to see the show will be thoroughly entertained.
Even though this is a best of show and we are using our best sketches, none of the sketches are the same as there originals. Each sketch has new elements added to it, be it because of Leena and I tweaking a sketch, or because of our wonderful cast.
Which by the way I now call, Butter Chicken Omega(Note: I have never called them, Butter Chicken Omega, but it sounds cool. Don't you think?)
Moving on.
Last week I spoke briefly about the Men of Butter chicken, this week it's the ladies turn.
I will start with the one and only Jessica Garcia (aka The Little General)
Jessica is beautiful. Before I go any further I must make it clear that ALL the women in the show are beautiful, but each of them posses a trait that makes them breathtaking, AND HELLO, THEY ARE SO DAMN FUNNY!!! ( Don't believe me? come watch the show, I dare you.)
Jessica is very talented, and is always eager to be apart of the show no matter what the capacity. Jessica can play a number of different characters from a Latin maid to and Old Indian Mother ( come watch the show)
She is also a born leader, it is something a notice in her more and more with each passing show, hence the name, The Little General. Now if she can only stop talking about that Neyo Dance I did for her. It was one night Jessica, by they way you never called after that. I'm a man Jess not a piece of meat. I have a heart that feels...stuff. :)
Continuing on
We have the lovely Aga postawska
Aga has one of the best dead pan looks I have ever seen, you have got to be some kind of funny to make a person laugh without saying a word. She is also very Dirty, which Leena and I enjoy very much.
Someone else to enjoy is Veenu Sandhu.
Veenu had made every Character she plays her own. Her interpretation of Binder in Binder and Minder is my personal favourite, and she get along with everyone in the cast so well.
Aga and Her have become really good friends. Always so happy to see each other, hugging and touching each other, you know like girls do. Always working with each other outside of rehearsal, heck even in rehearsals they disappear for 20 to 30 min, and work on there scenes together. Let me tell you something they work HARD. They always come back to rehearsal just hot and gleaming with sweat, hair out of place with this wonderful red glow that screams, " Munish we were rehearsing really, really hard!" Then I always jokingly tell them they should go back and work even harder, and they are always so ready to do it?
God Bless them.
Rounding out the cast is Alicia Novak
The moment she auditioned we knew she had to be in the show, and she is french, or from Quebec, or no she is a Francophone. ( Which reminds me, why are all people from Quebec named after Actor James Franco? More importantly after his home telephone? Nobodies called a Sharmaphone, at least not yet.)
Alicia is and Actress who is always working and it is wonderful having her in the cast. However, she does have a seeecret, a secret so disturbing that if I told you, you would be....well I guess you would be disturbed.
If that isn't' enough to get you wanting to come to the show we also have the lovely soul singer Sabrina Saran performing at the show also.
I personally Believe that this woman as the "it" factor. The first time I heard her sing I instantly asked myself, "Self, why isn't the rest of the world listening to her?. I am very blessed to call her friend.
Come check out the show.
Stay tuned.....
********I may have fabricated a few things, but I only fabricated the things that were already fabricated**************
M Sharma
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Parts of Butter Chicken Part 1.
Soooooooooooooooooo Rehearsals have officially started for The Best Of Show. The excitement is starting to build and we have a fantastic new Venue to play with in the CBC. It holds more seats which means more people can come and see what butter chicken is all about.
Yes we have a few new sketches, but the rest of the show is "the best of the breast" the chicken breast that is. :)
It's amazing to think that Leena and I have wrote and Performed in near a hundred sketches, now try and pick 23-25 sketches that you think are the most funny and entertaining. Well we did our best and everyone that comes to see the show will see. (you know you want to come. Why stop yourself form thinking otherwise? You won't be that busy during the week of the show, I know you like to laugh. I can see it in your eyes right now, the well of excitement building up, the want to laugh,have a good time. In fact thinking about laughing is making you smile right now)
Wow. That got intense.
Anyway.
To do a Great show, you need a great team and baby.... we got one.
I can only start with one of the most important people on our team, our most valuable white man (mvwm)
Jason Vaisvila
Jason has been a part of every single Butter Chicken to date. We can call him the "token" white guy, but Jason can do anything and everything. Basically because he does anything and everything. In fact Jason has played many characters in one sketch, he is that good. He plays any character be it any nationality, heck he has even become a pretty damn good Bollywood Dancer. It's amazing to watch him work with Leena. As and actor sometimes the hardest challenge is working with other actors, but when these to get together it's like they already know what each other is thinking or about to do.
Its to bad they strait don't like each other.
They can't even stand being in the same room together, in fact even when they are in the same room everyone feels like they have been slimmed and covered with this goo of sexual tension. Sometimes I feel so dirty after rehearsal that I have to go home and take a shower and do Pooja (my girlfriend) just to feel better. ( It got so intense in one rehearsal that Leena actually straddled Jason in one of the Sketches)
I really hope they work it out. For the sake of the team.
Next we have Kulveer Taggar and Kallol Mitra our resident Good looking brown boys. They are such a joy to work with that I even think of them when writing any Sketch.
Kallol Mitra
Kallol was born a comedian. Well actually he was born a Bengali Dynamo, but he is also very funny. Kallol just naturally gets comedy and he, much like Kulveer, has become a fantastic actor. Kallol is an Idea guy, he gets our comedy and is always thinking of other Sketches we can create. BUT I also know he is plotting to take me out of Butter Chicken. I see him always plotting, looking at me with his Bengali eyes. ( Quick substitute Hungry Eyes, from Dirty Dancing to Bengali Eyes. No real reason, it's just funny. you should try it. I can wait http://www.youtube.com/watchv=rI4fzajz3Ok........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ see. it's funny right?)
Well you won't get it Kallol Mitra! Not now, not EVER. Not even if there was a flood and I was drowning and you were all like, " Just say you will leave Butter Chicken and I will save you."
I would say, " No Kallol Mitra! NO. I would sooner drown.
Next we have Kulveer "Kevin" Taggar.
Kevin's Cool......... Yeah that's about it. :)
Ok, but seriously, actually no not seriously only kind of seriously.
Kulveer Singh Dhillion Gill Taggar is the most hard working and intelligent person I know. It's not everyday you get at Economist/Engineer/Entrepreneur/Robot wanting to act, but we have one. And he is GORGEOUS!
For someone who was not a trained actor he has come a long way, and he gets better and better with every show.
I only wish he could control his addiction.
Yes, Kevin has a problem and it's called "Big Desiitus" Kevin believe that he is some kind of Body Builder.
He is always talking about "Training" and about a "Trainer" who has no real name I might add. He works out in a "Gym" in "Surrey", the Name of which we have never heard. He always tells us about how much he is eating, and how many "Kg's" he weighs.
Don't Worry Kevin we will get Through this.
Together.
All Jokes Aside,( for the time being we will put them on the left side) it is fantastic working with these fine Gentlemen.
It's Ok that one of them wants to sleep with my sister, the other wants me dead, and one thinks he is the Incredible Jutt ( A new Sketch maybe?) I love working with them.
Next up the ladies.
******** I may have fabricated a few things, but I only fabricated the things that have already been fabricated. (Insert Smiley face here)
M Sharma
Yes we have a few new sketches, but the rest of the show is "the best of the breast" the chicken breast that is. :)
It's amazing to think that Leena and I have wrote and Performed in near a hundred sketches, now try and pick 23-25 sketches that you think are the most funny and entertaining. Well we did our best and everyone that comes to see the show will see. (you know you want to come. Why stop yourself form thinking otherwise? You won't be that busy during the week of the show, I know you like to laugh. I can see it in your eyes right now, the well of excitement building up, the want to laugh,have a good time. In fact thinking about laughing is making you smile right now)
Wow. That got intense.
Anyway.
To do a Great show, you need a great team and baby.... we got one.
I can only start with one of the most important people on our team, our most valuable white man (mvwm)
Jason Vaisvila
Jason has been a part of every single Butter Chicken to date. We can call him the "token" white guy, but Jason can do anything and everything. Basically because he does anything and everything. In fact Jason has played many characters in one sketch, he is that good. He plays any character be it any nationality, heck he has even become a pretty damn good Bollywood Dancer. It's amazing to watch him work with Leena. As and actor sometimes the hardest challenge is working with other actors, but when these to get together it's like they already know what each other is thinking or about to do.
Its to bad they strait don't like each other.
They can't even stand being in the same room together, in fact even when they are in the same room everyone feels like they have been slimmed and covered with this goo of sexual tension. Sometimes I feel so dirty after rehearsal that I have to go home and take a shower and do Pooja (my girlfriend) just to feel better. ( It got so intense in one rehearsal that Leena actually straddled Jason in one of the Sketches)
I really hope they work it out. For the sake of the team.
Next we have Kulveer Taggar and Kallol Mitra our resident Good looking brown boys. They are such a joy to work with that I even think of them when writing any Sketch.
Kallol Mitra
Kallol was born a comedian. Well actually he was born a Bengali Dynamo, but he is also very funny. Kallol just naturally gets comedy and he, much like Kulveer, has become a fantastic actor. Kallol is an Idea guy, he gets our comedy and is always thinking of other Sketches we can create. BUT I also know he is plotting to take me out of Butter Chicken. I see him always plotting, looking at me with his Bengali eyes. ( Quick substitute Hungry Eyes, from Dirty Dancing to Bengali Eyes. No real reason, it's just funny. you should try it. I can wait http://www.youtube.com/watchv=rI4fzajz3Ok........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ see. it's funny right?)
Well you won't get it Kallol Mitra! Not now, not EVER. Not even if there was a flood and I was drowning and you were all like, " Just say you will leave Butter Chicken and I will save you."
I would say, " No Kallol Mitra! NO. I would sooner drown.
Next we have Kulveer "Kevin" Taggar.
Kevin's Cool......... Yeah that's about it. :)
Ok, but seriously, actually no not seriously only kind of seriously.
Kulveer Singh Dhillion Gill Taggar is the most hard working and intelligent person I know. It's not everyday you get at Economist/Engineer/Entrepreneur/Robot wanting to act, but we have one. And he is GORGEOUS!
For someone who was not a trained actor he has come a long way, and he gets better and better with every show.
I only wish he could control his addiction.
Yes, Kevin has a problem and it's called "Big Desiitus" Kevin believe that he is some kind of Body Builder.
He is always talking about "Training" and about a "Trainer" who has no real name I might add. He works out in a "Gym" in "Surrey", the Name of which we have never heard. He always tells us about how much he is eating, and how many "Kg's" he weighs.
Don't Worry Kevin we will get Through this.
Together.
All Jokes Aside,( for the time being we will put them on the left side) it is fantastic working with these fine Gentlemen.
It's Ok that one of them wants to sleep with my sister, the other wants me dead, and one thinks he is the Incredible Jutt ( A new Sketch maybe?) I love working with them.
Next up the ladies.
******** I may have fabricated a few things, but I only fabricated the things that have already been fabricated. (Insert Smiley face here)
M Sharma
Friday, April 16, 2010
Ipod March 06 April 10
On April 7, 2010 I lost my Ipod ( single tear)
I have to make it clear this was not some ordinary electronic device for me. It was my Companion.
I can still remember the song I was listing to when the bus first pulled into Vancouver over 3 years ago. It was Alicia Key's, If I I ain't Got you ft Usher. How did I lose it? It fell out of my pocket while I was looking at a confusing text getting off the bus. I guess my Ipod wasn't supposed to go where I was going.
So I just want to say Thank you Ipod.
Thanks for filling my head with beautiful music, when I was only worth $18 walking up and down hasting st near PNE telling me to Turn the Page.
Thanks for being my own personal Night Club, before I owned a stereo or computer. Dancing in my room like an Idiot :)
You told me I could fly, that This years love will last, reminded me I live in a Mad world.
You asked me What makes a man? Told me of the Best I Ever Had.
Others use Ipods to tune the world out, you help to teach me what the world is all about.
I bought I steel black case to protect your soft covering so I could use you when I went to the gym. you protected me from going insane.
My friend, I took her everywhere, to work, to a night out on the town, even when I went to get a haircut.
You only could hold 200 songs, but each song had a specific meaning to me.
It's not easy Being Green- Kermit the frog (A song for the child in me)
Waiting in Vain-Bob Marley (For the Girls who made me feel this way)
Brown Sugar- D angelo ( I gets high of your love don't know how to behave)
You are So Beautiful-Joe Cocker (Regina)
Kabhi Kabhi- Mukesh
Rude Boy- Rhianna (for the ladies in the club)
True all of these songs are on my ITunes, but they are all on there for you. Many of the 1000 songs I have, have played at least once on your 200 song cycle.
You where the last material keep sake I had that reminded me of "Regina Munish" Now you to have become my past.
When I plugged you in, you connected to my heart
Thank you Ipod. I will miss you.
Black steely
March 18, 2006 - April 7, 2010.
M Sharma
*************
Starting next week I will be writing about the upcoming I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Chicken: Best of Show!
I have to make it clear this was not some ordinary electronic device for me. It was my Companion.
I can still remember the song I was listing to when the bus first pulled into Vancouver over 3 years ago. It was Alicia Key's, If I I ain't Got you ft Usher. How did I lose it? It fell out of my pocket while I was looking at a confusing text getting off the bus. I guess my Ipod wasn't supposed to go where I was going.
So I just want to say Thank you Ipod.
Thanks for filling my head with beautiful music, when I was only worth $18 walking up and down hasting st near PNE telling me to Turn the Page.
Thanks for being my own personal Night Club, before I owned a stereo or computer. Dancing in my room like an Idiot :)
You told me I could fly, that This years love will last, reminded me I live in a Mad world.
You asked me What makes a man? Told me of the Best I Ever Had.
Others use Ipods to tune the world out, you help to teach me what the world is all about.
I bought I steel black case to protect your soft covering so I could use you when I went to the gym. you protected me from going insane.
My friend, I took her everywhere, to work, to a night out on the town, even when I went to get a haircut.
You only could hold 200 songs, but each song had a specific meaning to me.
It's not easy Being Green- Kermit the frog (A song for the child in me)
Waiting in Vain-Bob Marley (For the Girls who made me feel this way)
Brown Sugar- D angelo ( I gets high of your love don't know how to behave)
You are So Beautiful-Joe Cocker (Regina)
Kabhi Kabhi- Mukesh
Rude Boy- Rhianna (for the ladies in the club)
True all of these songs are on my ITunes, but they are all on there for you. Many of the 1000 songs I have, have played at least once on your 200 song cycle.
You where the last material keep sake I had that reminded me of "Regina Munish" Now you to have become my past.
When I plugged you in, you connected to my heart
Thank you Ipod. I will miss you.
Black steely
March 18, 2006 - April 7, 2010.
M Sharma
*************
Starting next week I will be writing about the upcoming I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Chicken: Best of Show!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Kiss version 1
So I stumbled upon my MYSPACE account today and found the FRIST blog I ever wrote. So I thought I would share it. And it doesn't require me to write so much at this point and time. Old school Blog I was 25.
***Monday, February 19, 2007 ****
Kiss
Dear you.
Don't forget what I said,"you won't know if you don't try'.
Scared? Sometimes it will be hard to breathe, but the breath will come.
you are worth it! you will always be worth it.
Do you understand what I mean? Sorry I am a horrible speller, I don't proof read, and my grammar sucks.
IF they don't care, they won't be there or their or whatever it is.
Kiss......kissssssss, kiss goodbye, kiss to try, kiss for good luck, kiss my ass, Kiss me if you mean it. Kiss me, close your eyes, and remeber me. Hell, Kiss me to forget me.
Boo hoo....oh my life is so hard.....I am so sad....boo hoo. (Please there is two things you can do, solve your problem or push it way down inside and let it F#ck you up some more.)
I am nothing, I am nobody special, I am dirty, damaged------But you tried to Fix me, and you always will.
I should have hugged you longer.
I could have listen to you.
Please don't be afraid, this is the bed you have made.
You have and always will live in the moment (hell sometimes you suck the moment dry)
You are respnosible for ALL of your actions( it's not everyone elses fault)
IF you are depressed, remember:
1) Bad things happen to good people, becuase they can handle it.
2) Life is as fair as you make it.
3) Someone always understands.
4) Don't lie to yourself or you will live with it for the rest of your life.
5) You matter, if not to him or her or them.---Then to me.
6) Give it your all
7) IF you try and fail,THEN you learn and become stronger. IF you try and succeed,....Well that is the whole point anyway.
*****
I wrote this days before I moved from Regina and then added some more things to it when I moved to Vancouver.
This is about many people, but mostly it's about a extremely scared young man who was about the enter the next stage of his life.
***Monday, February 19, 2007 ****
Kiss
Dear you.
Don't forget what I said,"you won't know if you don't try'.
Scared? Sometimes it will be hard to breathe, but the breath will come.
you are worth it! you will always be worth it.
Do you understand what I mean? Sorry I am a horrible speller, I don't proof read, and my grammar sucks.
IF they don't care, they won't be there or their or whatever it is.
Kiss......kissssssss, kiss goodbye, kiss to try, kiss for good luck, kiss my ass, Kiss me if you mean it. Kiss me, close your eyes, and remeber me. Hell, Kiss me to forget me.
Boo hoo....oh my life is so hard.....I am so sad....boo hoo. (Please there is two things you can do, solve your problem or push it way down inside and let it F#ck you up some more.)
I am nothing, I am nobody special, I am dirty, damaged------But you tried to Fix me, and you always will.
I should have hugged you longer.
I could have listen to you.
Please don't be afraid, this is the bed you have made.
You have and always will live in the moment (hell sometimes you suck the moment dry)
You are respnosible for ALL of your actions( it's not everyone elses fault)
IF you are depressed, remember:
1) Bad things happen to good people, becuase they can handle it.
2) Life is as fair as you make it.
3) Someone always understands.
4) Don't lie to yourself or you will live with it for the rest of your life.
5) You matter, if not to him or her or them.---Then to me.
6) Give it your all
7) IF you try and fail,THEN you learn and become stronger. IF you try and succeed,....Well that is the whole point anyway.
*****
I wrote this days before I moved from Regina and then added some more things to it when I moved to Vancouver.
This is about many people, but mostly it's about a extremely scared young man who was about the enter the next stage of his life.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
All the Single ladies!
"You don't speak for all men."
This is something I have told myself for years, and why should I?
I mean, I should speak for one man, me. Yes, believe it or not I am a man, in fact I have grown into a very good man.
This isn't about me though, I mean it concerns me, but more so indirectly.
" why do men Cheat?"
" why don't guys call?"
" why are men pigs?"
" why don't guys mean what they say? or do this or that and blah blah blah........"
"Munish you don't speak for all men" This is what I tell myself. I am not a therapist, or a Love Guru. I have just been one of the lucky men who has been asked these question and others many, many times in my life. These questions don't bug me, because they come from women I respect and admire.
And lets be honest I am guy, so I should know men. But I can't hate on all the brothers, because most of them just want the same thing as me.
Still.
Some of you motherfuckers need to get your shit together. You know why? Because you mess it up for all us other guys.
Now granted there is a number of women who strength there hate for men, by not dealing with any issues they have, but COME ON no woman in the history of the world wakes up and goes I want a man to Cheat, Beat, Hate, Use or Hurt me.
As a good man ( and yes I am one) who has been burnt by a few women I can say that blame can be placed on both sides. (but not all the time :) )
But ladies there ain't gonna be no Mrs. Sharma if all the Good women, tell me, a Good man, that every guy they meet lacks this or that. Or they do this, so this means that, and that leads to this, which means he will beat you.
In my life I have heard women say to me and I quote,
"Munish you are a good guy, but you are an Actor."
"Munish you are a good guy, but you are not like most men." ( I once thought this was a good thing)
"Munish you are a good guy, but you don't like snowboarding." ( oh yeah I have heard this)
I could go on, but I think you get the point.
No one want to get hurt, I don't want to get hurt, but I have. It may happen several times again, but if you really want to be happy we have to believe that he or she is out there. No matter how many times someone has done Bhangra on our hearts.
So ladies do you want a Good man? Yes attraction plays a part so don't give me that, "Well I have to be attracted to him to ." line. Or have you possible become so caught up in what your ideal man should be, that you haven't realized that that man is already in your life? Maybe he has even come and gone.? ( Most Good men, truly don't give up on a woman so he isn't far, just make sure you want him and not his attention) Maybe you have even become so focused on yourself, that you can't even see that he is focusing on you to?
Your man is out there, If I start to believe that every woman I meet is a slefish, jaded, bitch I may as well join a monestary and become a monk. AND nothing will change.
So all you Single ladies, don't give up on us men, cause guys like us won't give up on you.
Please let you guard down a little, he is not______ your x- husband or _______ your x-boyfriend. Don't be afraid to Love him, and guys DON'T be afraid to love her.
True Romance is a life time not a season.
So my latest Poetic Rant is for the woman who just broke up with her first love or third love, for the woman who hasn't had a real realationship since 2006, to the Girl who gives it up because she thinks it will keep him, to the woman who says she can't because she is scared, to the men who have found her, and the woman who have been waiting, and finally for my future wife Mrs. Sharma.... wherever she is. :)
The Words of Prince Charming of Def Jam.
Baby trust me, I am looking for you.
My soul tells me you are searching for me to.
I know you have met men who have brought you heartache, but my love will heal your hearts shape.
True, you once asked God for his love, but I posses affection you haven't even dreamed of.
Shakespeare once said, " we (men) prove much in our vows, but little in our love."
However, I am not the man Shakespeare spoke of.
Rest assure I do exist I simply haven't found you yet.
Baby you can tell me these are all words, but if you believe in them I will change your world.
Do not get me wrong I do have my flaws, and we will have our troubles,
but commitment and communication are the weapons of all lovers.
Calm yourself and realize there is a reason we all have some pain,
pure love babe would drive us insane.
The hurt balances us out makes us aware of another persons heart.
Only then can we start to believe in the word "Us", for "Me" and "I" are what make any love story tragic.
It's attractive that you can stand on your own, that "you don't need a man".
It will give me pride to be your companion
It will mean you love me for who I am.
Let yourself grow into the person you are meant to become,
I will be a blessed man to be with a complete woman.
Someday soon our love story will come true.
M Sharma
This is something I have told myself for years, and why should I?
I mean, I should speak for one man, me. Yes, believe it or not I am a man, in fact I have grown into a very good man.
This isn't about me though, I mean it concerns me, but more so indirectly.
" why do men Cheat?"
" why don't guys call?"
" why are men pigs?"
" why don't guys mean what they say? or do this or that and blah blah blah........"
"Munish you don't speak for all men" This is what I tell myself. I am not a therapist, or a Love Guru. I have just been one of the lucky men who has been asked these question and others many, many times in my life. These questions don't bug me, because they come from women I respect and admire.
And lets be honest I am guy, so I should know men. But I can't hate on all the brothers, because most of them just want the same thing as me.
Still.
Some of you motherfuckers need to get your shit together. You know why? Because you mess it up for all us other guys.
Now granted there is a number of women who strength there hate for men, by not dealing with any issues they have, but COME ON no woman in the history of the world wakes up and goes I want a man to Cheat, Beat, Hate, Use or Hurt me.
As a good man ( and yes I am one) who has been burnt by a few women I can say that blame can be placed on both sides. (but not all the time :) )
But ladies there ain't gonna be no Mrs. Sharma if all the Good women, tell me, a Good man, that every guy they meet lacks this or that. Or they do this, so this means that, and that leads to this, which means he will beat you.
In my life I have heard women say to me and I quote,
"Munish you are a good guy, but you are an Actor."
"Munish you are a good guy, but you are not like most men." ( I once thought this was a good thing)
"Munish you are a good guy, but you don't like snowboarding." ( oh yeah I have heard this)
I could go on, but I think you get the point.
No one want to get hurt, I don't want to get hurt, but I have. It may happen several times again, but if you really want to be happy we have to believe that he or she is out there. No matter how many times someone has done Bhangra on our hearts.
So ladies do you want a Good man? Yes attraction plays a part so don't give me that, "Well I have to be attracted to him to ." line. Or have you possible become so caught up in what your ideal man should be, that you haven't realized that that man is already in your life? Maybe he has even come and gone.? ( Most Good men, truly don't give up on a woman so he isn't far, just make sure you want him and not his attention) Maybe you have even become so focused on yourself, that you can't even see that he is focusing on you to?
Your man is out there, If I start to believe that every woman I meet is a slefish, jaded, bitch I may as well join a monestary and become a monk. AND nothing will change.
So all you Single ladies, don't give up on us men, cause guys like us won't give up on you.
Please let you guard down a little, he is not______ your x- husband or _______ your x-boyfriend. Don't be afraid to Love him, and guys DON'T be afraid to love her.
True Romance is a life time not a season.
So my latest Poetic Rant is for the woman who just broke up with her first love or third love, for the woman who hasn't had a real realationship since 2006, to the Girl who gives it up because she thinks it will keep him, to the woman who says she can't because she is scared, to the men who have found her, and the woman who have been waiting, and finally for my future wife Mrs. Sharma.... wherever she is. :)
The Words of Prince Charming of Def Jam.
Baby trust me, I am looking for you.
My soul tells me you are searching for me to.
I know you have met men who have brought you heartache, but my love will heal your hearts shape.
True, you once asked God for his love, but I posses affection you haven't even dreamed of.
Shakespeare once said, " we (men) prove much in our vows, but little in our love."
However, I am not the man Shakespeare spoke of.
Rest assure I do exist I simply haven't found you yet.
Baby you can tell me these are all words, but if you believe in them I will change your world.
Do not get me wrong I do have my flaws, and we will have our troubles,
but commitment and communication are the weapons of all lovers.
Calm yourself and realize there is a reason we all have some pain,
pure love babe would drive us insane.
The hurt balances us out makes us aware of another persons heart.
Only then can we start to believe in the word "Us", for "Me" and "I" are what make any love story tragic.
It's attractive that you can stand on your own, that "you don't need a man".
It will give me pride to be your companion
It will mean you love me for who I am.
Let yourself grow into the person you are meant to become,
I will be a blessed man to be with a complete woman.
Someday soon our love story will come true.
M Sharma
Friday, March 12, 2010
I wish you well Coconut, lets get back to poetry.
Thank you to anyone who read my last blog. Believe me, as idealistic as I am, it took a lot for me to write down what I did. My biggest fear when I write is that people will think, "Oh it's Munish being Munish" or that I am writing about a specific person and will not actually try and understand what I am articulating. Having said that, I did receive a lot of different kinds of feedback from people. Most of it thankfully was very positive, still I want to clarify a few things.
1) I do not hate women or brown people.
I have always enjoyed the richness of my culture, I just refuse to accept some of the human traditions and beliefs that exists in a culture that is so proud of a collective oneness, equality and inclusion.
Why would I hate Women? True I have had my heartbroken, Yes I have loved someone who does not love me in return. However, I am responsible for all of those decisions it is a part of my Karma. Yes there are some Women who have wronged me but that pales in comparison to all the Women that believe in me, and care for me.
No two Women are ever the same, so I would be an ignorant fool if I let one woman represent all of them.
2) I am glad people saw the internal racism and Segregation that occurs in our South Asian Culture. How is it Ok to have friends of Different religion, caste or sects, but choosing them as a mate is out of the question? In fact many of us boys maybe even a few girls still end up dating someone who is not of the same caste, religion, race with absolutely no intentions of marrying them. That is right folks, we are prepared to create a strong bond with another person and give them our heart, but marriage is out to the question. Most of the time its because they do not want to let there "families down". I ask, If friendship is equal to love and Love can not exist without Friendship why the hell are we setting ourselves up for disappointment then? True when we are young we don't really know what we want, and most of us are not looking to get married. Still, if you meet someone and you connect on 9 out of 10 points wouldn't you want to spend the rest of your life with 9 reasons you should be with that person, rather then 1 reason you couldn't be with that person. (that one point usually ends up being Family, Religion or Money) My mother once told me there is always difference between people, but we are all different and that is what makes us all the same.
3) Any issued I brought up can describe anyone regardless of color, religion, but I can bet you a South Asian person can attach it to more then one Occasion in there lives.
I will write more on these issues and other as time goes on, but I still want to post some poetry.........so here we go.
Move On
I have poisoned many pages with your love attempting to appease this heart.
Writing page after page like a holy sage.
Worshipping you like a Goddess expressing to the world what my hell is.
Yes I understand your mortality, but your effect on me is heavenly.
God has punished me for doing this, by demanding I treat you like the rest.
Falling to my knees I will repent, yet I fear this heart will not relinquish its commitment.
My dear I have lost track of reality and turned my life into a tragedy.
Still, the simply truth is... I did this.
This boy listened to his heart, now that same heart is torn apart.
I should have listened to my peers.
Now I spend nights holding back tears.
Please do not question my heart, it must simply learn to live without.
Now like fictional lovers of times past our love to will not come to pass.
So I will take all the love that I have for you, and light a fire for the world to see.
Use this blaze to drive me to succeed.
That way no matter where destiny guides me, you will always be able to find me.
M Sharma
1) I do not hate women or brown people.
I have always enjoyed the richness of my culture, I just refuse to accept some of the human traditions and beliefs that exists in a culture that is so proud of a collective oneness, equality and inclusion.
Why would I hate Women? True I have had my heartbroken, Yes I have loved someone who does not love me in return. However, I am responsible for all of those decisions it is a part of my Karma. Yes there are some Women who have wronged me but that pales in comparison to all the Women that believe in me, and care for me.
No two Women are ever the same, so I would be an ignorant fool if I let one woman represent all of them.
2) I am glad people saw the internal racism and Segregation that occurs in our South Asian Culture. How is it Ok to have friends of Different religion, caste or sects, but choosing them as a mate is out of the question? In fact many of us boys maybe even a few girls still end up dating someone who is not of the same caste, religion, race with absolutely no intentions of marrying them. That is right folks, we are prepared to create a strong bond with another person and give them our heart, but marriage is out to the question. Most of the time its because they do not want to let there "families down". I ask, If friendship is equal to love and Love can not exist without Friendship why the hell are we setting ourselves up for disappointment then? True when we are young we don't really know what we want, and most of us are not looking to get married. Still, if you meet someone and you connect on 9 out of 10 points wouldn't you want to spend the rest of your life with 9 reasons you should be with that person, rather then 1 reason you couldn't be with that person. (that one point usually ends up being Family, Religion or Money) My mother once told me there is always difference between people, but we are all different and that is what makes us all the same.
3) Any issued I brought up can describe anyone regardless of color, religion, but I can bet you a South Asian person can attach it to more then one Occasion in there lives.
I will write more on these issues and other as time goes on, but I still want to post some poetry.........so here we go.
Move On
I have poisoned many pages with your love attempting to appease this heart.
Writing page after page like a holy sage.
Worshipping you like a Goddess expressing to the world what my hell is.
Yes I understand your mortality, but your effect on me is heavenly.
God has punished me for doing this, by demanding I treat you like the rest.
Falling to my knees I will repent, yet I fear this heart will not relinquish its commitment.
My dear I have lost track of reality and turned my life into a tragedy.
Still, the simply truth is... I did this.
This boy listened to his heart, now that same heart is torn apart.
I should have listened to my peers.
Now I spend nights holding back tears.
Please do not question my heart, it must simply learn to live without.
Now like fictional lovers of times past our love to will not come to pass.
So I will take all the love that I have for you, and light a fire for the world to see.
Use this blaze to drive me to succeed.
That way no matter where destiny guides me, you will always be able to find me.
M Sharma
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Should I miss being a coconut?
Should I miss being a Coconut?
It has been a full year since I have become a full desi “Brown” boy.
You must be asking yourself what I was before, the answer is a Coconut. I was only really “brown” because of my skin color, and let’s be honest even that brown is faint, but the rest of me was very much North American. Sure, I know that I am Hindu-Punjabi, what part of the Punjab I come from, heck I even know the name of the village, but it was only important to me because I wanted to know my heritage. Yes, I can speak both Hindi and Punjabi. True I mix them both up and don’t really speak my mother tongue very often, but hey I grew up in Regina Saskatchewan aside from my family who else was I going to talk to?
Still, I wasn’t very “Indian” “Brown” or “Desi”. Sure I watched Bollywood films but only really enjoyed them until I was 16, I mean how many different versions of the same love story can I watch? I get it Love conquers all now lets sing and Dance about it. Truth is I didn’t even hang out with a lot of South Asian Boys or Girls. The Boys always wanted to show off and if that wasn’t enough they always were ready to prove how tough they were. (This is something I still see in Van). The Girls always too harsh for me, very quick to cut you down, and only liked you when you had something tangible to give them. (Years later Tangible became Money, Car, and a House. Lets be honest everyone wants that, but I think some of my Desi Sisters put too much onus on that. Ladies all men want the best for the people they love.) So for all these factors I distanced myself from hanging out with “my own kind”.
I was happy to hang out with my white friends and being the “token brown guy” or partying with my multicultural crew, the Persian brothers, my Black homies, and Asian cousins. Yet some how deep inside me I always felt like I was missing out. My Mother and Father who feared their oldest son didn’t like being “Brown” strengthened this feeling.
However, this all changed when I moved to lovely Vancouver BC, and my “Browness” was not spoon feed to me, but rather shoved down my throat. At times if feels like that overnight I was surrounded by “my own kind”. At first I was overjoyed, my own people like me, I mean they really really liked me, but unbenounced to me I was about to learn what being apart of “my own kind” means.
I do not want to talk about our colorful clothes, the Bollywood Flare, the joy of being from India, and I do not want to talk about our rich Indian heritage. I am talking about what it is to be “Brown” and what it has come to mean to me.
So what does being “Brown” mean?
Being Brown means knowing everyone’s business, that’s right we need to have as much information as we can about another person so that we can either A) Use it to our advantage or B) Tell every single person we know about what is happening in another person’s life. There is no such thing as keeping a secret, in fact I can almost promise you the next time you hang out with your brown friends they will already know what you are about to tell them, they’re just gonna act like it’s the first time they have heard of it.
Being Brown means being friends with people you don’t necessarily like (I know for a fact some people think of me this way). This is something that is universal, but since I have become a brown boy many of my own kind have told me how they don’t care for that person or don’t trust someone whom they have been friends with for years. Why do we do this? Because it wouldn’t be very Brown of us to tell another person how much we don’t like them. We just make them our friends and give them back handed compliments for years and years or try and one up each other continuously (Oh you bought a house? I’m building one). That is the Brown way.
Being “Brown” means living at home with your family. It doesn’t matter if you can live on your own. It is not very “Brown”. For the brown people who live away from their families, they most likely moved to this city and don’t have any close relatives to live with. Then there are the few Brown people who do have their own place but still manage to “visit” home every moment they get the chance.
Being Brown means being coddled by our parents. Mommy and Daddy do everything for us. We complain that we aren’t allowed to live our own lives, but we still don’t do anything about it. Why? Because many of our parents don’t really know who we are, we put on a masks and still act like children. Why? Because it is easier. We already have pressure from our parents. I mean, have you ever heard this, When will you be finished school? Are you going to be a Doctor, Engineer, or Teacher? When are you getting married? When are you having Kids? Why doesn’t your wife respect me? Why is your husband so lazy? Why don’t you listen to me anymore?
Why the hell would we want our parents to tell us what else we are doing wrong?
Even if you rose to the challenge and changed your family dynamic, by breaking down barriers that wouldn’t be very “Brown”.
Being Brown means seeing difference in our own Culture. How many Brown people have I met that have almost certainly asked me one major question, “What are you?
Are you Sikh? Hindu? Muslim?
This question also has sub questions.
What caste are you? What part of India are you from?
Punjab?
What part? Etc.
In Regina all I ever needed to tell someone was that I was from India and that was it. In Vancouver every Brown person I have met needs to know my family lineage. (This happens wherever there is a larger brown population)
The funny thing is I spent my whole life being Brown, but when I moved to Vancouver I found out I can be the wrong kind of Brown.
Being Brown means dating your own Brown kind. For me that means Brown Girls.
I personally believe that only a brown woman can assess if she will marry you or not without having to go on a single date with you.
How?
You see, when a Brown girl like you, you don’t date. She calls you, she calls you anywhere from 3 to 10 times in a day. If she likes you she will text you every chance she can get and none of those text will have any real importance, but you damn well better text her back. However, the Brown Girl will not date you.
Oh no!
For you see she is only trying to get to know you.
She will call you every night and keep you up for hours, but when you ask her out she will tell you she is very busy. Even though if you added up how much you have talked on the phone it would equal out to 3 dates. Don’t get me wrong if she does like you she will hang out with you…but for coffee.
And you are not on a date.
This is where things get interesting. For you see, a brown girl is great at sending sexy or flirty texts she might even be very seductive on the phone, but she will treat you like you are selling her insurance when you hang out with her. It is solely a transaction, a coffee or in most cases tea transaction that will end with her giving you a platonic hug and if you are lucky she may let you kiss her on the cheek. When she leaves and you are left standing there thinking, “what the fuck just happened?” She well text you to tell you how cute you are and that she had a good time.
Ok serious time.
Now I have a sister I am aware first hand about how hard it is for a South Asian Woman.
The Rules for a Female in our culture are highly unfair and need to change. Many women have sacrificed their own happiness for the sake of family. Many women have stifled their own growth as human beings so that they do not disappoint there families,
But ladies why do you have to make a Brown Boy’s life so miserable?
I understand that many of you are under a lot of stress you were most likely hurt by your first love, or you had a boyfriend that treated you horribly. However, the truth is ladies that your first love and that douche bag of an X-boyfriend are still going to get married and have babies. In fact they will marry a woman who feels exactly like you, how can this happen you ask? Simple, because many of you girls will walk all over every brown guy you meet after you have been crushed. You will always be quick to focus on what they don’t have or what quality they posses that remind you of any negative man that has been a part of your life. This will make you believe that every Brown guy you know is an Asshole (Except your Brother(s)). Then you will turn around and marry your cousin’s friends brother or some Brown guy who lives in another city, but guess what they are brown guys too. They just get the leg up because now “they come from a good family” or “they aren’t like any other brown guy you’ve met.” You know why, because you are giving them a real chance.
Maybe I have said too much, yes I could even be out of line. Yet the beauty of my culture is slowly becoming a thin see through veil covering an ugly truth. We need to change.
If we come from India and live in Canada then what are we?
Did our ancestors always try to segregate from one another or where they trying to evolve into something more? What was Krishna try to teach us? What was Kabir preaching? Did Guru Nanak Dev want this?
When I was a coconut I did not tolerate racism or prejudice, heck I even proudly called myself a feminist.
Unfortunately now that I am brown I have to see difference in my culture, not simply to respect or to admire, but to keep away from. I have to know if the guy I am talking to is Jatt Punjabi. If I like a Brown girl I have to find out if she can date a Hindu-Punjabi regardless of whether she likes me or not. Everyone needs to know what I am worth and not the person that I am. I am not ashamed of my Indian Heritage or where I come from. When I was a coconut of course there were setbacks, none of my non-brown friends took the time to learn my own cultural ways, I was simply regarded as ethnic, there was no Punjabi Market, no Raj cinema, no Bollywood dancing, and I didn’t have all the lovely brown friends.
Still, when I was a coconut there was more to me then what side of the river I was from.
M Sharma
(if this has offended anyone that was not my intent, but if it made you feel something I will take it)
It has been a full year since I have become a full desi “Brown” boy.
You must be asking yourself what I was before, the answer is a Coconut. I was only really “brown” because of my skin color, and let’s be honest even that brown is faint, but the rest of me was very much North American. Sure, I know that I am Hindu-Punjabi, what part of the Punjab I come from, heck I even know the name of the village, but it was only important to me because I wanted to know my heritage. Yes, I can speak both Hindi and Punjabi. True I mix them both up and don’t really speak my mother tongue very often, but hey I grew up in Regina Saskatchewan aside from my family who else was I going to talk to?
Still, I wasn’t very “Indian” “Brown” or “Desi”. Sure I watched Bollywood films but only really enjoyed them until I was 16, I mean how many different versions of the same love story can I watch? I get it Love conquers all now lets sing and Dance about it. Truth is I didn’t even hang out with a lot of South Asian Boys or Girls. The Boys always wanted to show off and if that wasn’t enough they always were ready to prove how tough they were. (This is something I still see in Van). The Girls always too harsh for me, very quick to cut you down, and only liked you when you had something tangible to give them. (Years later Tangible became Money, Car, and a House. Lets be honest everyone wants that, but I think some of my Desi Sisters put too much onus on that. Ladies all men want the best for the people they love.) So for all these factors I distanced myself from hanging out with “my own kind”.
I was happy to hang out with my white friends and being the “token brown guy” or partying with my multicultural crew, the Persian brothers, my Black homies, and Asian cousins. Yet some how deep inside me I always felt like I was missing out. My Mother and Father who feared their oldest son didn’t like being “Brown” strengthened this feeling.
However, this all changed when I moved to lovely Vancouver BC, and my “Browness” was not spoon feed to me, but rather shoved down my throat. At times if feels like that overnight I was surrounded by “my own kind”. At first I was overjoyed, my own people like me, I mean they really really liked me, but unbenounced to me I was about to learn what being apart of “my own kind” means.
I do not want to talk about our colorful clothes, the Bollywood Flare, the joy of being from India, and I do not want to talk about our rich Indian heritage. I am talking about what it is to be “Brown” and what it has come to mean to me.
So what does being “Brown” mean?
Being Brown means knowing everyone’s business, that’s right we need to have as much information as we can about another person so that we can either A) Use it to our advantage or B) Tell every single person we know about what is happening in another person’s life. There is no such thing as keeping a secret, in fact I can almost promise you the next time you hang out with your brown friends they will already know what you are about to tell them, they’re just gonna act like it’s the first time they have heard of it.
Being Brown means being friends with people you don’t necessarily like (I know for a fact some people think of me this way). This is something that is universal, but since I have become a brown boy many of my own kind have told me how they don’t care for that person or don’t trust someone whom they have been friends with for years. Why do we do this? Because it wouldn’t be very Brown of us to tell another person how much we don’t like them. We just make them our friends and give them back handed compliments for years and years or try and one up each other continuously (Oh you bought a house? I’m building one). That is the Brown way.
Being “Brown” means living at home with your family. It doesn’t matter if you can live on your own. It is not very “Brown”. For the brown people who live away from their families, they most likely moved to this city and don’t have any close relatives to live with. Then there are the few Brown people who do have their own place but still manage to “visit” home every moment they get the chance.
Being Brown means being coddled by our parents. Mommy and Daddy do everything for us. We complain that we aren’t allowed to live our own lives, but we still don’t do anything about it. Why? Because many of our parents don’t really know who we are, we put on a masks and still act like children. Why? Because it is easier. We already have pressure from our parents. I mean, have you ever heard this, When will you be finished school? Are you going to be a Doctor, Engineer, or Teacher? When are you getting married? When are you having Kids? Why doesn’t your wife respect me? Why is your husband so lazy? Why don’t you listen to me anymore?
Why the hell would we want our parents to tell us what else we are doing wrong?
Even if you rose to the challenge and changed your family dynamic, by breaking down barriers that wouldn’t be very “Brown”.
Being Brown means seeing difference in our own Culture. How many Brown people have I met that have almost certainly asked me one major question, “What are you?
Are you Sikh? Hindu? Muslim?
This question also has sub questions.
What caste are you? What part of India are you from?
Punjab?
What part? Etc.
In Regina all I ever needed to tell someone was that I was from India and that was it. In Vancouver every Brown person I have met needs to know my family lineage. (This happens wherever there is a larger brown population)
The funny thing is I spent my whole life being Brown, but when I moved to Vancouver I found out I can be the wrong kind of Brown.
Being Brown means dating your own Brown kind. For me that means Brown Girls.
I personally believe that only a brown woman can assess if she will marry you or not without having to go on a single date with you.
How?
You see, when a Brown girl like you, you don’t date. She calls you, she calls you anywhere from 3 to 10 times in a day. If she likes you she will text you every chance she can get and none of those text will have any real importance, but you damn well better text her back. However, the Brown Girl will not date you.
Oh no!
For you see she is only trying to get to know you.
She will call you every night and keep you up for hours, but when you ask her out she will tell you she is very busy. Even though if you added up how much you have talked on the phone it would equal out to 3 dates. Don’t get me wrong if she does like you she will hang out with you…but for coffee.
And you are not on a date.
This is where things get interesting. For you see, a brown girl is great at sending sexy or flirty texts she might even be very seductive on the phone, but she will treat you like you are selling her insurance when you hang out with her. It is solely a transaction, a coffee or in most cases tea transaction that will end with her giving you a platonic hug and if you are lucky she may let you kiss her on the cheek. When she leaves and you are left standing there thinking, “what the fuck just happened?” She well text you to tell you how cute you are and that she had a good time.
Ok serious time.
Now I have a sister I am aware first hand about how hard it is for a South Asian Woman.
The Rules for a Female in our culture are highly unfair and need to change. Many women have sacrificed their own happiness for the sake of family. Many women have stifled their own growth as human beings so that they do not disappoint there families,
But ladies why do you have to make a Brown Boy’s life so miserable?
I understand that many of you are under a lot of stress you were most likely hurt by your first love, or you had a boyfriend that treated you horribly. However, the truth is ladies that your first love and that douche bag of an X-boyfriend are still going to get married and have babies. In fact they will marry a woman who feels exactly like you, how can this happen you ask? Simple, because many of you girls will walk all over every brown guy you meet after you have been crushed. You will always be quick to focus on what they don’t have or what quality they posses that remind you of any negative man that has been a part of your life. This will make you believe that every Brown guy you know is an Asshole (Except your Brother(s)). Then you will turn around and marry your cousin’s friends brother or some Brown guy who lives in another city, but guess what they are brown guys too. They just get the leg up because now “they come from a good family” or “they aren’t like any other brown guy you’ve met.” You know why, because you are giving them a real chance.
Maybe I have said too much, yes I could even be out of line. Yet the beauty of my culture is slowly becoming a thin see through veil covering an ugly truth. We need to change.
If we come from India and live in Canada then what are we?
Did our ancestors always try to segregate from one another or where they trying to evolve into something more? What was Krishna try to teach us? What was Kabir preaching? Did Guru Nanak Dev want this?
When I was a coconut I did not tolerate racism or prejudice, heck I even proudly called myself a feminist.
Unfortunately now that I am brown I have to see difference in my culture, not simply to respect or to admire, but to keep away from. I have to know if the guy I am talking to is Jatt Punjabi. If I like a Brown girl I have to find out if she can date a Hindu-Punjabi regardless of whether she likes me or not. Everyone needs to know what I am worth and not the person that I am. I am not ashamed of my Indian Heritage or where I come from. When I was a coconut of course there were setbacks, none of my non-brown friends took the time to learn my own cultural ways, I was simply regarded as ethnic, there was no Punjabi Market, no Raj cinema, no Bollywood dancing, and I didn’t have all the lovely brown friends.
Still, when I was a coconut there was more to me then what side of the river I was from.
M Sharma
(if this has offended anyone that was not my intent, but if it made you feel something I will take it)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Questions
Can a person create there own hell?
Can we acknowledge when we are happy and then accept that it will pass?
Are you afraid of succeeding?
Ask yourself these questions and be prepared for the answer you give yourself.
To me Balance is the quest of life.
However, to be a balanced human being you can not look at things as good or bad, black or white, right and wrong.
You simply must Do.
Yes of course you need to put thought into what you are doing. I am not saying you should just do what you feel, but your feelings can guide you.
The Quest for Balance is never ending. Sometimes something that might be "wrong" is actually right, other times the "right thing" is actually the wrong thing. In order to be the "Good guy" we have to be prepared to play the Villain.
When you are balanced you rule your feelings. It is your soul that shines.
When you are balanced others do not dictate you decisions in life, they simply bring facts into a decision you will make.
When you are balanced you are responsible for ALL of your decisions.
And you can accept this.
This piece is short and straight to the point.
*************
My heart hurts from time to time.
Looking for the person who committed the crime.
Heartbreak may not be a capital offence.
Yet is still feels like death nonetheless.
M Sharma
Can we acknowledge when we are happy and then accept that it will pass?
Are you afraid of succeeding?
Ask yourself these questions and be prepared for the answer you give yourself.
To me Balance is the quest of life.
However, to be a balanced human being you can not look at things as good or bad, black or white, right and wrong.
You simply must Do.
Yes of course you need to put thought into what you are doing. I am not saying you should just do what you feel, but your feelings can guide you.
The Quest for Balance is never ending. Sometimes something that might be "wrong" is actually right, other times the "right thing" is actually the wrong thing. In order to be the "Good guy" we have to be prepared to play the Villain.
When you are balanced you rule your feelings. It is your soul that shines.
When you are balanced others do not dictate you decisions in life, they simply bring facts into a decision you will make.
When you are balanced you are responsible for ALL of your decisions.
And you can accept this.
This piece is short and straight to the point.
*************
My heart hurts from time to time.
Looking for the person who committed the crime.
Heartbreak may not be a capital offence.
Yet is still feels like death nonetheless.
M Sharma
Friday, February 19, 2010
Inspire
If I can not love you.
I will love you indirectly.
I will speak the words of love to inspire the heart.
God lets these words bring kindred souls together.
For if I am meant to live without a piece of my soul,
I will challenge others to make themselves whole.
I can not be anymore then what I am,
but I am thanks to you my friend.
Often you have stood firm by my side
Unwilling to let me run and hide.
When I have poisoned myself with selfish emotion,
you have always conjured up the healing potion.
I have tried and failed to many times to count,
but you have refused to let me be down and out.
Sometimes I feel unworthy of your inspiration,
but I am quick to cast away that sensation.
You have strung together speech to sound like music to my ears.
That is why all my movements have become effortless and clear.
There is no such thing as darkness in my life.
For your love even illuminates the night.
Your touch makes me feel so precious,
that is has stopped me from acting reckless.
Some would call you a muse, but we will leave that to fate.
For I my friend call you my soul mate.
M Sharma
I will love you indirectly.
I will speak the words of love to inspire the heart.
God lets these words bring kindred souls together.
For if I am meant to live without a piece of my soul,
I will challenge others to make themselves whole.
I can not be anymore then what I am,
but I am thanks to you my friend.
Often you have stood firm by my side
Unwilling to let me run and hide.
When I have poisoned myself with selfish emotion,
you have always conjured up the healing potion.
I have tried and failed to many times to count,
but you have refused to let me be down and out.
Sometimes I feel unworthy of your inspiration,
but I am quick to cast away that sensation.
You have strung together speech to sound like music to my ears.
That is why all my movements have become effortless and clear.
There is no such thing as darkness in my life.
For your love even illuminates the night.
Your touch makes me feel so precious,
that is has stopped me from acting reckless.
Some would call you a muse, but we will leave that to fate.
For I my friend call you my soul mate.
M Sharma
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Parts 2
One of the greatest titles you can have in the world is Brother or Sister.
I have been a Brother since I can remember.
In fact I do not have a single memory in my life where I was not a Brother.
My younger Brother Rajnish has always been in my life, he is my First Friend. He is one of the most well put together people I know, and I am lucky enough to call him my brother. He naturally posses qualities that some people get "How to" books on, or take classes about. If you ever get the chance to spend time with him you will find out what I mean.
My younger sister is my Gift from God.
The first memories I have all concern my sister.
The first one is my mom asking me if I wanted another Brother or a sister.
To this day all I have to do is close my eyes and I am transported back to 1985. Standing on the steps upstairs, pulling on the stairway rail announcing to my mom that I wanted a sister and that if she brought home another brother I would kick him out of the house. ( Its not because Raj was to much it was because he was already the best brother I could ask for)
My second memory is meeting my sister for the first time.
It's a story that is very dear to my heart, but it is also one that I will always prefer to tell in person.
The third memory is naming her Monica
It was down to Monica and another name ( as you can see the other name is not worth remembering)
I remember hearing Monica and going, "THAT is my sisters name". I then proceeded to jump up and down on a hospital bed yelling, "Monica, Monica, Monica."
Of course my Mom and Dad turned around and yelled at me, but my job was done.
They named her Monica. :)
Rajnish and Monica have always pushed me to be better.
They are the reasons why I became a leader and protector.
I have and always will push myself as hard as I can because I refuse to let my little brother and sister down.
They will tell me very quickly that there is nothing I can do that will let them down, but that is why they are so wonderful.
They have always believed in there Weird, Romantic, Goofy older Brother. :)
I only wish to share these important things about me, because I want people to better understand the major pillars that make me who I am. My Family is as wonderful as any other persons family, my intention is not to "rub it in" or "gloat".
I believe it will help give anyone who takes the time out of there important lives to read this blog a better understanding of what drives me.
BUT I do hope it possibly makes others appreciate there loved ones and drives them to believe in love and take chances.
No matter what I do in life my family will not leave my side.
I won't let them.
I love them to damn much. :)
As per usually some more written work. Enjoy!
1230
At 1230 the phone would always ring
No matter what mood she was in.
I would do my best to disguise my joy.
Every so often I even acted annoyed.
She was always so quick to say,
"Should I let you go?"
Even though she knew I would always say no.
She would regale me with stories of her day
I would sit there smirking as she vented away.
Eventually she would apologizes for talking to much
then be so quick to question "Why I liked her so much?"
I would reply with some devilish remark.
The truth is she had become a piece of my heart.
She became my personal lullaby.
I would not close my eyes with out her affectionate Goodnights.
*******
1230 and my phone is lifeless.
I should have know it would come to this.
I fight every urge to pick up the phone.
I have to teach myself to leave her alone.
She has made it clear she does not need me.
All her words have become deceiving.
There are a great many obstacles we would have to face
for this love to take place.
She would once start a conversation by saying, "Talk".
But no one cares to hear the words of a broken heart.
Each night at 1230 I wait for the phone to ring.
Hoping for the night when she will call again.
M Sharma
I have been a Brother since I can remember.
In fact I do not have a single memory in my life where I was not a Brother.
My younger Brother Rajnish has always been in my life, he is my First Friend. He is one of the most well put together people I know, and I am lucky enough to call him my brother. He naturally posses qualities that some people get "How to" books on, or take classes about. If you ever get the chance to spend time with him you will find out what I mean.
My younger sister is my Gift from God.
The first memories I have all concern my sister.
The first one is my mom asking me if I wanted another Brother or a sister.
To this day all I have to do is close my eyes and I am transported back to 1985. Standing on the steps upstairs, pulling on the stairway rail announcing to my mom that I wanted a sister and that if she brought home another brother I would kick him out of the house. ( Its not because Raj was to much it was because he was already the best brother I could ask for)
My second memory is meeting my sister for the first time.
It's a story that is very dear to my heart, but it is also one that I will always prefer to tell in person.
The third memory is naming her Monica
It was down to Monica and another name ( as you can see the other name is not worth remembering)
I remember hearing Monica and going, "THAT is my sisters name". I then proceeded to jump up and down on a hospital bed yelling, "Monica, Monica, Monica."
Of course my Mom and Dad turned around and yelled at me, but my job was done.
They named her Monica. :)
Rajnish and Monica have always pushed me to be better.
They are the reasons why I became a leader and protector.
I have and always will push myself as hard as I can because I refuse to let my little brother and sister down.
They will tell me very quickly that there is nothing I can do that will let them down, but that is why they are so wonderful.
They have always believed in there Weird, Romantic, Goofy older Brother. :)
I only wish to share these important things about me, because I want people to better understand the major pillars that make me who I am. My Family is as wonderful as any other persons family, my intention is not to "rub it in" or "gloat".
I believe it will help give anyone who takes the time out of there important lives to read this blog a better understanding of what drives me.
BUT I do hope it possibly makes others appreciate there loved ones and drives them to believe in love and take chances.
No matter what I do in life my family will not leave my side.
I won't let them.
I love them to damn much. :)
As per usually some more written work. Enjoy!
1230
At 1230 the phone would always ring
No matter what mood she was in.
I would do my best to disguise my joy.
Every so often I even acted annoyed.
She was always so quick to say,
"Should I let you go?"
Even though she knew I would always say no.
She would regale me with stories of her day
I would sit there smirking as she vented away.
Eventually she would apologizes for talking to much
then be so quick to question "Why I liked her so much?"
I would reply with some devilish remark.
The truth is she had become a piece of my heart.
She became my personal lullaby.
I would not close my eyes with out her affectionate Goodnights.
*******
1230 and my phone is lifeless.
I should have know it would come to this.
I fight every urge to pick up the phone.
I have to teach myself to leave her alone.
She has made it clear she does not need me.
All her words have become deceiving.
There are a great many obstacles we would have to face
for this love to take place.
She would once start a conversation by saying, "Talk".
But no one cares to hear the words of a broken heart.
Each night at 1230 I wait for the phone to ring.
Hoping for the night when she will call again.
M Sharma
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Parts
I have always been a Romantic.
I have come to believe that it is something I inherited from my parents. My Mother breaths Love into the world, in fact she loves so much that she even loves those who are unworthy of her. It is not a competition she just loves openly, she has told me many times that Hate hollows our soul and destroys our inner essence. Then in her passionately speaking voice she would say, "why would you want to do that?". My Father is a Loyal Lover he does not need to speak poetry or show large productions of love for you to know he loves you. It exists in his eyes always apparent and never waning. Early on in my childhood he told me, " The only people that matter in this world are your Mom, Sister, Brother and your Dad. Nobody should ever break you a part". When I got older he changed it to Wife and Children saying, " When you get Married the most important people are your Wife and kids. Always be there for each other first, everyone else is second... even your Mom and Dad". He added the last part with a smirk. This advice I have not forgotten and refuse to forget. It made sense to me, if two people connect and are happy together that is what should matter first and last. The world will almost certainly through innumerable obstacles your way, but if two people are sound in each others love nothing will rip you apart.
This is a major make up of who I am, I am Loyal to the ones I Love and even care for those who at times consider me forgettable.
The only downfall I have ever seen of being a Romantic is when I have encounter those who ground you and do not allow you to fly. Let me make it clear, A ROMANTIC DOES NOT HAVE HIS/HER HEAD IN THE CLOUDS OR LIVE IN A DREAM WORLD. THEY DREAM SO THAT THOSE DREAMS CAN COME TO FRUITION IN THE REAL WORLD. THEY ARE AMONG THE CLOUDS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SEE ALL THAT IS OFFERED TO THEM, BUT THEY DO LIVE IN THIS WORLD. THEY LIVE IN THIS REALITY, THEY JUST HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE THE WORLD THEY LIVE IN. ( Sorry I am not really yelling:). )
I promise that as I progress the poetry I share will become slightly more positive. Believe it or not I am funny, but there is more to me then Jokes and a youthful exuberance.
False
Nothing feels right without her
I will always be searching for a place beside her.
Even in the same room she is never close enough
Yet I am to prideful to admit my hellacious emptiness.
So we stand there pretending there is nothing between us.
While our hearts and souls scream out that this is ridiculous.
This is the torture we must place ourselves in
because our elders and peers call our union a sin.
Often these days I question the world around me.
Why do I choose to live with the ignorance that surrounds me?
How can I accept that this is our culture?
When at times we act like ravenous vultures.
We attack each others vulnerabilities
Claiming to be an accepting society.
We build up barrier's calling them differences
But we are simply fortifying our imprisonment
All I ever did was love another.
Yet the age I live in has made me a martyr.
Now I am forced into this crippling disposition
Thanks to the glorious word Tradition.
I have come to believe that it is something I inherited from my parents. My Mother breaths Love into the world, in fact she loves so much that she even loves those who are unworthy of her. It is not a competition she just loves openly, she has told me many times that Hate hollows our soul and destroys our inner essence. Then in her passionately speaking voice she would say, "why would you want to do that?". My Father is a Loyal Lover he does not need to speak poetry or show large productions of love for you to know he loves you. It exists in his eyes always apparent and never waning. Early on in my childhood he told me, " The only people that matter in this world are your Mom, Sister, Brother and your Dad. Nobody should ever break you a part". When I got older he changed it to Wife and Children saying, " When you get Married the most important people are your Wife and kids. Always be there for each other first, everyone else is second... even your Mom and Dad". He added the last part with a smirk. This advice I have not forgotten and refuse to forget. It made sense to me, if two people connect and are happy together that is what should matter first and last. The world will almost certainly through innumerable obstacles your way, but if two people are sound in each others love nothing will rip you apart.
This is a major make up of who I am, I am Loyal to the ones I Love and even care for those who at times consider me forgettable.
The only downfall I have ever seen of being a Romantic is when I have encounter those who ground you and do not allow you to fly. Let me make it clear, A ROMANTIC DOES NOT HAVE HIS/HER HEAD IN THE CLOUDS OR LIVE IN A DREAM WORLD. THEY DREAM SO THAT THOSE DREAMS CAN COME TO FRUITION IN THE REAL WORLD. THEY ARE AMONG THE CLOUDS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SEE ALL THAT IS OFFERED TO THEM, BUT THEY DO LIVE IN THIS WORLD. THEY LIVE IN THIS REALITY, THEY JUST HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE THE WORLD THEY LIVE IN. ( Sorry I am not really yelling:). )
I promise that as I progress the poetry I share will become slightly more positive. Believe it or not I am funny, but there is more to me then Jokes and a youthful exuberance.
False
Nothing feels right without her
I will always be searching for a place beside her.
Even in the same room she is never close enough
Yet I am to prideful to admit my hellacious emptiness.
So we stand there pretending there is nothing between us.
While our hearts and souls scream out that this is ridiculous.
This is the torture we must place ourselves in
because our elders and peers call our union a sin.
Often these days I question the world around me.
Why do I choose to live with the ignorance that surrounds me?
How can I accept that this is our culture?
When at times we act like ravenous vultures.
We attack each others vulnerabilities
Claiming to be an accepting society.
We build up barrier's calling them differences
But we are simply fortifying our imprisonment
All I ever did was love another.
Yet the age I live in has made me a martyr.
Now I am forced into this crippling disposition
Thanks to the glorious word Tradition.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Seasons
Let me start by saying I fully understand that any poetry I write may never be regarded as eloquent, but if there is one thing I have learnt recently there is room for even bad poetry. (Thank you Dave)
Still in the past two years my soul has screamed out to share. To just be creative and not care about anything else. So that is my intention for the Blog and for everything else I do, like the Nike commercials say, "just do it".
The following are a set of Poems/rants I have written in the past 3 years. Pieced together they turn into a mini story all of them take place in a certain season. Alas, spring is missing. Enjoy.
July (Summer Kiss)
I will not forget the first time we kissed.
For my soul shouted, "She's the One."
I will concede the words I write are quite elementary
But even the simplest of words can last centuries.
You fell into me without hesitation,
while our lips effortlessly reach there destination.
The first kiss we held to allow our souls to connect,
each kiss after became increasingly passionate.
The One God in numerous names and shapes
contorted the world so that nothing would ruin our pace.
Eshwar (God) created a corner for us to hideaway in,
so that our lips could continue their conversation.
This magnificent union reached a feverish pitch
when I took control of your hips.
In that moment we were one.
In that moment there was Love.
Sept (Fruitless Fall)
She rests her head on my chest, and tells me this is it.
I still wonder if she heard my heart crumble.
She lifts her head to look me in the eye.
My one true love she starts to cry.
Rab(God) has played a horrible game.
She has to leave me because of my name.
Not the one used to call for me
But the one attached to my ancestry.
Religion it seems has gotten the best of me.
Created to help us become spiritual
Man however, has made it material.
I wipe the tears from her eyes
My love does not deserve to cry.
Still she would mourn one way or another
even if she chose me as her lover.
Our eyes lock once again
I can tell she does not want this to end.
In this moment I think of the hell she must be in.
In this moment I know that it is over.
Jan( Winter Weakness)
How unfortunate it is to wake with instant heartache
Before my eyes open to acknowledge the world
my heart reminds me of the girl.
Before my head process how my day begins
it tells me how it will end.
Alone.
As I try to rise to my feet
my heart pulls me back in defeat.
The first sustenance I taste is a salty tear running down my face.
It emerged while I think of her embrace.
The radio is singing a Hindi love ballad.
In an instance my room becomes my tomb.
I have conversations with my mother, arguments with my brother.
They inform me that I have done nothing wrong.
My heart however can not move on.
I place myself in complex situations at work
it does not stop the hurt.
Familiar faces wonder where I have gone,
Complain to me it has been so long.
Yet the face I long for is gone.
Perhaps she has moved on?
In this moment I am empty.
In this moment I am
Empty.
M Sharma
Still in the past two years my soul has screamed out to share. To just be creative and not care about anything else. So that is my intention for the Blog and for everything else I do, like the Nike commercials say, "just do it".
The following are a set of Poems/rants I have written in the past 3 years. Pieced together they turn into a mini story all of them take place in a certain season. Alas, spring is missing. Enjoy.
July (Summer Kiss)
I will not forget the first time we kissed.
For my soul shouted, "She's the One."
I will concede the words I write are quite elementary
But even the simplest of words can last centuries.
You fell into me without hesitation,
while our lips effortlessly reach there destination.
The first kiss we held to allow our souls to connect,
each kiss after became increasingly passionate.
The One God in numerous names and shapes
contorted the world so that nothing would ruin our pace.
Eshwar (God) created a corner for us to hideaway in,
so that our lips could continue their conversation.
This magnificent union reached a feverish pitch
when I took control of your hips.
In that moment we were one.
In that moment there was Love.
Sept (Fruitless Fall)
She rests her head on my chest, and tells me this is it.
I still wonder if she heard my heart crumble.
She lifts her head to look me in the eye.
My one true love she starts to cry.
Rab(God) has played a horrible game.
She has to leave me because of my name.
Not the one used to call for me
But the one attached to my ancestry.
Religion it seems has gotten the best of me.
Created to help us become spiritual
Man however, has made it material.
I wipe the tears from her eyes
My love does not deserve to cry.
Still she would mourn one way or another
even if she chose me as her lover.
Our eyes lock once again
I can tell she does not want this to end.
In this moment I think of the hell she must be in.
In this moment I know that it is over.
Jan( Winter Weakness)
How unfortunate it is to wake with instant heartache
Before my eyes open to acknowledge the world
my heart reminds me of the girl.
Before my head process how my day begins
it tells me how it will end.
Alone.
As I try to rise to my feet
my heart pulls me back in defeat.
The first sustenance I taste is a salty tear running down my face.
It emerged while I think of her embrace.
The radio is singing a Hindi love ballad.
In an instance my room becomes my tomb.
I have conversations with my mother, arguments with my brother.
They inform me that I have done nothing wrong.
My heart however can not move on.
I place myself in complex situations at work
it does not stop the hurt.
Familiar faces wonder where I have gone,
Complain to me it has been so long.
Yet the face I long for is gone.
Perhaps she has moved on?
In this moment I am empty.
In this moment I am
Empty.
M Sharma
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Death
To start my Blogging life I have simply chosen a poem I have written.
DEATH
Help me!
I have been poisoned by romance!
My voice of reason my practicality is fading.
The death of my intelligence is near, and yet my heart shows no fear.
What can I do to be ride of this?
My skin is rotting with loves fragrance.
Away!
I beg you.
Away.
Do not condemn my soul this way.
Do not let me be lost in Fantasy, for if I awake it will be the death of me.
M Sharma
DEATH
Help me!
I have been poisoned by romance!
My voice of reason my practicality is fading.
The death of my intelligence is near, and yet my heart shows no fear.
What can I do to be ride of this?
My skin is rotting with loves fragrance.
Away!
I beg you.
Away.
Do not condemn my soul this way.
Do not let me be lost in Fantasy, for if I awake it will be the death of me.
M Sharma
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